Fine Afternoon

I visited my friend this afternoon to ask some questions, but I ended up staying at her place for ~3.5 hrs. It went pretty smooth at the beginning because she explained every single detail to make sure that I understood the location and etc. Our conversation began to change right after I asked if she is ready to leave. I've never seen her shared her concerns and everything like that, but I neither stopped nor asked her. I led her to speak for the next 20 minutes, and I listened to her carefully. Later, she confessed somehow felt embarassed because she told everything to little girl (referred to me) and wondered if I understood her situation.

I convinced her that I understood and her situation was normal that everyone would experience it. I then helped her to clean the fish tank until about 4:30pm.. Technically it's not her fish tank, but she helped to clean, so I helped her too. I hope she will feel much better after that, and I hope that I don't give her unreasonable feedback.

That afternoon's conversation is still playing inside my head, and I don't know why.

I don't know...
My mind is blank right now...
hehehe...

LoOnggg

Ooh,,,
I've just found out that one of my bedroom's window screens is not properly attached to its frame. I tried to fix it,but it didn't work, so I decided to call maintenance. They then said that all technicians are busy today, so it will be fixed in the next few days...
My question: When are they going to fix it since I'll do my carpet cleaning on Tuesday (5/27)??

Next..
I've been waiting for a response from Upitt international adviser regarding my I-20. There is a minor mistake in my new I-20 because it is supposed to have a same SEVIS#, but the intl. adviser from ISU found out ~3.5 wks ago that it had different # from my previous I-20. She told me that the process only took 1-3 days, so I could do it later. Well... I didn't want to wait until June, so I contacted the immigration specialist in Upitt and haven't received any responses at all..
I sent 2 e-mails and called her. She wasn't in her office, so I left a message, gave her my cell phone#, but still no response. I am thinking to call her once again.. tomorrow...

I feel that today time goes really slow... I keep checking my watch, somehow expect that it's 1 pm already, but it's not...

12 Days to Pittsburgh

I cleaned my oven yesterday, put some spices inside tupperware, and removed some of the remaining clothes from closet to suitcase. Last time, I left some clothes in closet and kept the rest in suitcases, but as days passed, I decided to transfer more to another suitcase. I also felt that I was not in a mood to clean kitchen, but I can do it within 2 hours. My apartment is not a mess, so it should be easy to clean the whole apartment by Monday (5.26.08)

I am lately addicted to watch online Asia drama, probably I do it to kill my spare times, but I should stop this habit SOON.
Last night I ended up sleeping at 2 AM because I kept watching the drama. ^_^
I currently watch "It Started with a Kiss" (Taiwanese version), and it is really entertaining, even though I have to admit that I keep pointing why the relationship is breakdown easily. Earlier I thought this drama would be exactly same w/ the Japanese version, but they added more and extended the story like life after marriage. It was surprised me that I could pinpoint which parts of communication that didn't work, and more... I guess it is because I took family communication
class and other family classes during my last semester at Iowa State.

After all, it is a movie, not a real life. I am really afraid right now. I am afraid to move... 12 days left...

BlanK

I feel really lost today. The only time I left my apartment was to go to church, and the rest of it was at home watching online asian drama. Last night I couldn't sleep, so my mom called me. She was half freak out because I insisted that I still couldn't sleep despite it was 1:30am already. She asked what was going on in my head, and I said nothing. Yes, I lied to her, but I couldn't share my worries to her since she'd already had enough things going on.

2 weeks more, and I will leave Ames for real. I am scared, really scared, but I can't go back. Next Sunday will be busy for me because I will move all my stuff to my friend's apartment, and carpet cleaning is scheduled on Tuesday (5/27). A week after that is my departure to Pittsburgh. I also need to clean kitchen, 2 bathrooms, and etc.

Basically my mood is really not good today,,,, or I should say for past 3 days.
What kind of life will I have in Pittsburgh? I want to try something new. Last time, one of my friends told me that the first time she met me, she thought I was a girl who had just left old strict Catholic school... Hoh!
I admit that I tend to be quite when I am around people, but I can be as talkative as an anchor speaks in front of video camera when I know the people long enough. I can be as silly as any characters in cartoon movies when I need to act silly.

Oh... I guess that's all for now.
Happy Saturday!

Dag Dig Dug...

I am really nervous
nervous...
very very nervous..
*******************************************************************************
By the way, mediacom doesn't serve Pittsburgh area. That's weird,,, instead, they have comcast..
I'd already checked both the monthly and installation fees for Internet. This Internet stuff will cost me about $170 total, and the monhtly fee itself is about $68since I am a new customer.
I haven't decided if I need cable TV since it's not as urgent as Internet..
Does anyone know about HDTV? I heard that starting next year, they will implement this program, and I'm not quite understand how it works. When I checked comcast.com, they mentioned about addition equipment-I can't remember the name- to install the program..

Wrong Plan...

So..
I transferred $$ from one account to another one (different state), and I tried to avoid cost, so I did what the bank teller suggested me. At the end, I ended up paying more (the delivery fee) due to incorrect method and lack of knowledge... **Sigh** Next, I will have to keep my eye on the process, make sure that it will go as I expect.

2 weeks and 4 days left to Pittsburgh. I am getting panic and sad... I can't imagine my life in Pittsburgh, all alone... no my best friends and everything is new. I can only rely on myself and God's guidance. When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was to check a calendar, and I inhaled deeply as I learned that I didn't have much times left.

I have finished packing 3 luggages so far, but I still have to pack the books, microwave, printer, and little things. I hope everything turns great **cross fingers**

Oh,, my,, oh,,,
I don't know what else I have to write...
I think that's all for today..

Bring Back Old Memories

Today is a graduation day, and I can't believe that 1 yr has already passed...I met my long lost friends, and I was happy to see that they looked nice and healthy.

In addition to that, my old memories suddenly came back, and those memories have been bothering me since yesterday. It was a mixed feeling, between happy,sad, and pain, particularly when I met one of my friends' parents. I knew that they were surprised to see me again because the last time I saw them was 5 yrs ago.I've been predicted that they would be a little bit shock when they saw me, so I'd already prepared for that. Part of my preparation was to give my best shot ever in front of them, and I hoped it worked well. There was such a long pause, memory,and things to be discussed, but I couldn't stand there for long time. We only chatted about 2-3 mins, and I left w/ my best friend to greet other graduates. Another reason that I couldn't stand there was because I wasn't ready to face someone. Occasionally, from long distance, when our eyes happened to catch each other, I gave them a warm smile, as a sign that I still respect them.

If time allows, I hope I can meet them once again before I leave for Pittsburgh. I don't think that's possible, but nobody knows. Right now, I feel sad, really sad, and how I wish that I could turn back time, to see if I could make any changes..

Spirit

If you wonder what kind of person I am, let me tell you that I am such a BIG WORRIED person. Followings are some real examples that keep running in my head over last 2 weeks:
I can't stop thinking what my life in Pittsburgh will look like.
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't get a field placement
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't meet the criteria and my scholarship will get suspended.
I can't stop worrying about my visa appointment.
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't fit into my new environment.
I can't stop worrying, what if my mom doesn't like my new studio.
I can't stop worrrying, what if I can't find a suitable workplace. A place where I truly belong to...

Those thoughts are really bothered my mind. I keep telling myself that I will be allright, try to assure myself that work life in Pittsburgh will be interesting.
I even convinced myself that I won't repeat the same mistake I made back when I was in undergraduate...
I can't turn back... the only thing I can do is to keep moving forward...
Let my dream come true... I am far away from what Mother Theresa has done to people, but let me be one of her followers. The follower who will not give up to support kids, adolescences and families. I always feel that I do these to make myself feel better.

4 weeks to Pittsburgh--

I am no longer working as a Youth Specialist effective May 1, 2008. I even can't say good bye to my workplace, therefore; I switch my position from full-time to volunteer during the month of May. I am going to miss my co-workers and workplace after May.

4 weeks from now, I will leave for Pittsburgh permanently, and I try to assure myself that I am going to be allright. Everything is ready, except my packing process, but I am sure it won't take a long time. I am scared to think how my life in Pittsburgh look like, given the fact that I have no one right there. When I came to Ames 5 yrs ago, I had 5 other people who came as a freshman at Iowa State. 4 people including me stayed at residence halls, and some of us had same classes. Thus, I didn't feel lost after all.

Now, I don't know whom I am going to meet, and I keep questioning how I am going to survive in graduate program. I know it's silly to think like that, but I can't deny that I am nervous w/ my life after Ames. Part of me convinced me that I'll be succeed in the program, and part of me questioned my abilities. This part reminded me that Pittsburgh is not Ames, the professors and curriculum won't be the same as the ones I had in Iowa State. The subject is not about Hotel and Food, it is about human and how we take care of them. Your classmates are professional people, cumlaude students, so you need to be careful. At the end, it seemed that this voice is getting stronger than before, and I started to lose my confidence. **Sigh..**

Well... today, one of our friends will go home for good, and we will accompany her to the airport.

I don't know what else to say... I am still speechless...

Have a great weekend!