Idul Fitri

Eid Mubarak... I guess that the English words for Idul Fitri.

midterm is next week
Field practicum will start two weeks from now

Mixed

Sometimes I feel that people come to me because they need my helps
but
they will leave me, once their problems are solved.
Sometimes
I want to know everything about my friends, what they discuss, and what they think
but
I know that everyone deserves a privacy, which means he/she wants to keep it for him/herself.
Sometimes
I wonder if there is anyone out there besides my parents who always think about me all the time
but
I know it is useless and bring no good for having that thought.

At the end,
I should always have a positive thinking.
I should not be too sensitive to my friends and everything in my surroundings.
I should believe that there is a good thing, a big surprise that is waiting for me.
I know I will get there
and I understand that it is okay, if you suddenly just feel terrible about yourself.
I thank God for His guidance and protection because I can't imagine what my life look like without Him.

Untitled

So many things happened to me this week. Some of them are good, some are not okay.
The good news:
my high school friend gave birth a baby girl on Thursday morning.
one of my undergraduate friends were married last week or at the second week of September.
I did a volunteer interview and tried to make this for my field practicum w/ additional works (of course). I got a sense that they seemed to like me, but they won't say anything until they receive all references back to their office.
I will do another placement interview next Wednesday. I am not sure if I like it, but I've got to try..
I will do a "speedy" volunteer this coming Monday so that I can write my paper.
Today is Friday, I can relax a little bit.

Not-so-good news:
I still stuck with the diversity quiz... Not sure, how I can get back on track
I am really OVERWHELMED with all the graduate school works... It makes me think that I will not continue to PhD. No, thanks.
And many more...

Another thing that I want to share is a story of my classmate. We have same classes except on Monday. Both of us are international students and come from Asia.The differences: I am a female and my classmate is a male. He is from Korea and I am from Indo. He actually lives in Seoul and has social work degree from a univ in Korea.
One day he said that he used all his salaries that he has saved for ~3 yrs from his navy job to go to graduate school. His story really stuck in my head for some reason..
I am sure other people do the same thing, but this is the first time I hear a "Live" story from a "real" person. Not only I am amazed w/ his spirit, but I also respect him. It makes me think that I shouldn't give up with my situation, that I should keep moving on. Probably this is why I don't like to see people whose hobby is to waste money, but no effort to produce money or show something good.

Roller coaster weekend

Friday:
The Original Mattress Factory Museum
Panera
Phipps Conservatory

Saturday:
Lunch at CMU truck
Run errands

Sunday:
church
Lunch at Belgian restaurant..
another run errand...
Study

When????

When will my placement get confirmed??
I still can't get hold on her... I wonder how busy she is until she even can't respond my calls.

Still working on my placement...

Yep...
I got one potential agency for my placement, but I couldn't get hold on the director of that program. I hope she will return my call sometimes before the end of this week.
It is not a hospital setting, but the program is dedicated for behavioral and mental healths issues. I will interact with families as well.. I admit that I feel jealous when my classmates said that they got a placement at the hospital setting or psychiatric ward.. I questioned why I didn't get it... Do I miss something here???
However.... I'm trying to not argue or complain as long as I get a placement for Fall. I will work hard for Summer and next year... People say that I am persistent.. so I'm going to make it, though it can make me exhausted.

For volunteer, I get quite good response... one is for hospital volunteer and another is for school setting where I will work with little kids.. I hope I can get one and do my 1st volunteer before Sept 29.

Patience

I still don't hear anything regarding my placement and plan to visit my advisor's office tomorrow.
My ticket to Indonesia for Christmas is still on waiting list because I insist to return to US on Jan 2,09 instead of Jan 1,09. I don't know if it is worthy to go home for Christmas, but I don't want to spend my Christmas alone.. For sure, I don't want to celebrate my Christmas in Pittsburgh. Do I really hate Pittsburgh? This city is not that bad. It is pretty, but I still feel lost in Pittsburgh.
I keep telling myself that this is a temporary issue. Later on, I can get along with the environment, or I will refuse to return to my hometown... :P

Remember when I mentioned about my 1st quiz?? I got the score this afternoon. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good enough. It relieved me a little bit because I didn't get 50.. Next time, I'll study hard.. make sure that I read all essays well. If necessary, I'll memorize everything in detail.

Last but not least, I have lots of things going on with me,, too much until I can't think what steps I should take. I guess it's normal for human to have problems, and can you imagine if you live in this world without having problems?

tired

I have been burning myself with school works over the past weeks, and I was really upset that I didn't do my 1st quiz well. I didn't expect that the professor would give us that kind of questions(she would took some of the sentences out from reading and made it a question), and I was sure other students felt the same way. Just to let you know, each chapter consists of six essays, and these were not a short essay..
I thought she would give us some kinds of analytical or logical questions, but it turned out that I had to memorize everything in detail(for each essay).

Now, I am feeling sick and extremely tired. There's not much progress regarding my field placement. I still can't find a perfect place for volunteer, while my paper will due at the end of this month.

My old habit is back!

That means...
I slept very very late...
I had difficulties to close my eyes during bedtime because I had lots of things to do, and that annoyed me so much.

This is what happened to me over the weekend:
I slept at 00:00 on Friday night, neither because I watched a movie, nor I chatted w/ someone else. I read one of my textbooks and tried to finish my journal assignment.
On Saturday night, I slept around 4am, in which I was supposed to sleep early because I had quite a busy activity before that. The truth?? I couldn't sleep and I ended up returning to my desk and finished my reading.
Those rituals continue until this morning.

Today is a labor day, and I promise my classmate that we will study together at the library. I need to go to library to get a book, and the prof requires us to read that book before class. By the way, the class is about social welfare.

Despite of all my personal issues, I had opportunities to:
-meet Indonesians here... from older to younger Indonesians.
-chat with new people, get new different perspective.
-go shopping
-eat Penang food, but Nasi Lemak that I ordered was far from my expectation. It's not that bad, but I expect to eat VERY VERY tasy nasi lemak.
-see the Sun and get a fresh air. (Yes, my homework is killing me!!!!)
-talk with Mommy through phone. Thanks mom!

I've got to go..
see yaaa