Blue

What did I do on Friday?

I had my haircut, but my friends claimed that my hair looked same..One of them even said that I only wasted my money.
I went to shelter after that because one staff was sick, and I came to cover her shift.
As usual, some of them made me upset, but it was fine after all. I wondered if they noticed that I almost cried when I talked to them while we watched a movie in the rec room. I addressed one issue and wanted them to understand my position or at least appreciate my presence.

My friends then picked up me at shelter, and we headed home to watch a movie. I looked forward to watching this movie, and I would like to thank to S who brought the movie for us. I love this movie! It is a cartoon/animated movie..

Next, I went home, took a shower, and tried to sleep. I have a sleeping issue lately. The worst thing is that I keep blaming myself for things that happen to me. It is funny when I can motivate my friends and tell them how special they are, but I can't apply those things to myself. For instance, I met my friend accidentally at school about two days ago, and he said that some of his friends might not like him because they thought that he was over confident in expressing his ideas. I convinced him that he should proud of this particular characteristic because his confidence makes him special.
He was surprised when I said that, and he said this was the first time he heard someone praised his personality.

I wish I could motivate myself as I motivate someone else. All I see from myself is that I am the worst person with worst attitudes in the world.

I am emotionally exhausted with all the things that happen to me this year. I hope that I can survive and maintain my positive mind.