HeeeLLLooooooO

Wow!

Soo many things happen to me this month.
I have been starting my practicum for ~2 weeks, and I have complicated feeling in regard to the works I am going to perform for the next 8 mths.
I am still in the process of adjusting myself, and I believe that I will see BIG things out there... something nice in my agency, and I enjoy meeting the kids. The saddest thing is that the location is far away from Oakland area. It takes ~1.5 hrs trip from Oakland to my agency, so total hours for round trips will be 3 hours.

Another flip side from my practicum is that I have to accomodate my times very effectively and efficiently. My academic workloads combine with my practicum works make my days a little bit tough...

However, I do have good news...
I saw pretty fireworks last night...
I also enjoyed my times with oppa.

HeLL

Midterm is around the corner, and that means everyone is starting to get panic including me. On the other hand, I question myself if I am really in a panic mode, or I just pretend that I am panic.
Perhaps, I should say that I just want to get over these daunting midterms.

Some of my close classmates are really stressed out, even though I know deep down they will get at least A- for each midterm exam. They have been studying since two weeks ago. Some even studied in a library all days all weeks. Therefore, they should not worry for midterms. right???
Unfortunately, this is not the case because they keep saying "I don't understand this and that." I admit that I admire their efforts to email our professors just to get the answers. However, I also wonder whether the professors will get tired or not in responding their questions because they asked too much questions, which I believed they could find some of the answers from textbooks.
I am so tired.. emotionally tired, so I just pray that I can survive until Thanksgiving break. The practicum will start soon, so I am not allowed to get sick..

I also don't know why I feel sad lately.. I have lots of things going on, and I don't know which one that I should do first... How I wish that I have someone other than my mom to talk with. Mom has enough problem, so I should not bother her, and I can't rely on my sister, too. I am just tired. That's it.

Idul Fitri

Eid Mubarak... I guess that the English words for Idul Fitri.

midterm is next week
Field practicum will start two weeks from now

Mixed

Sometimes I feel that people come to me because they need my helps
but
they will leave me, once their problems are solved.
Sometimes
I want to know everything about my friends, what they discuss, and what they think
but
I know that everyone deserves a privacy, which means he/she wants to keep it for him/herself.
Sometimes
I wonder if there is anyone out there besides my parents who always think about me all the time
but
I know it is useless and bring no good for having that thought.

At the end,
I should always have a positive thinking.
I should not be too sensitive to my friends and everything in my surroundings.
I should believe that there is a good thing, a big surprise that is waiting for me.
I know I will get there
and I understand that it is okay, if you suddenly just feel terrible about yourself.
I thank God for His guidance and protection because I can't imagine what my life look like without Him.

Untitled

So many things happened to me this week. Some of them are good, some are not okay.
The good news:
my high school friend gave birth a baby girl on Thursday morning.
one of my undergraduate friends were married last week or at the second week of September.
I did a volunteer interview and tried to make this for my field practicum w/ additional works (of course). I got a sense that they seemed to like me, but they won't say anything until they receive all references back to their office.
I will do another placement interview next Wednesday. I am not sure if I like it, but I've got to try..
I will do a "speedy" volunteer this coming Monday so that I can write my paper.
Today is Friday, I can relax a little bit.

Not-so-good news:
I still stuck with the diversity quiz... Not sure, how I can get back on track
I am really OVERWHELMED with all the graduate school works... It makes me think that I will not continue to PhD. No, thanks.
And many more...

Another thing that I want to share is a story of my classmate. We have same classes except on Monday. Both of us are international students and come from Asia.The differences: I am a female and my classmate is a male. He is from Korea and I am from Indo. He actually lives in Seoul and has social work degree from a univ in Korea.
One day he said that he used all his salaries that he has saved for ~3 yrs from his navy job to go to graduate school. His story really stuck in my head for some reason..
I am sure other people do the same thing, but this is the first time I hear a "Live" story from a "real" person. Not only I am amazed w/ his spirit, but I also respect him. It makes me think that I shouldn't give up with my situation, that I should keep moving on. Probably this is why I don't like to see people whose hobby is to waste money, but no effort to produce money or show something good.

Roller coaster weekend

Friday:
The Original Mattress Factory Museum
Panera
Phipps Conservatory

Saturday:
Lunch at CMU truck
Run errands

Sunday:
church
Lunch at Belgian restaurant..
another run errand...
Study

When????

When will my placement get confirmed??
I still can't get hold on her... I wonder how busy she is until she even can't respond my calls.

Still working on my placement...

Yep...
I got one potential agency for my placement, but I couldn't get hold on the director of that program. I hope she will return my call sometimes before the end of this week.
It is not a hospital setting, but the program is dedicated for behavioral and mental healths issues. I will interact with families as well.. I admit that I feel jealous when my classmates said that they got a placement at the hospital setting or psychiatric ward.. I questioned why I didn't get it... Do I miss something here???
However.... I'm trying to not argue or complain as long as I get a placement for Fall. I will work hard for Summer and next year... People say that I am persistent.. so I'm going to make it, though it can make me exhausted.

For volunteer, I get quite good response... one is for hospital volunteer and another is for school setting where I will work with little kids.. I hope I can get one and do my 1st volunteer before Sept 29.

Patience

I still don't hear anything regarding my placement and plan to visit my advisor's office tomorrow.
My ticket to Indonesia for Christmas is still on waiting list because I insist to return to US on Jan 2,09 instead of Jan 1,09. I don't know if it is worthy to go home for Christmas, but I don't want to spend my Christmas alone.. For sure, I don't want to celebrate my Christmas in Pittsburgh. Do I really hate Pittsburgh? This city is not that bad. It is pretty, but I still feel lost in Pittsburgh.
I keep telling myself that this is a temporary issue. Later on, I can get along with the environment, or I will refuse to return to my hometown... :P

Remember when I mentioned about my 1st quiz?? I got the score this afternoon. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good enough. It relieved me a little bit because I didn't get 50.. Next time, I'll study hard.. make sure that I read all essays well. If necessary, I'll memorize everything in detail.

Last but not least, I have lots of things going on with me,, too much until I can't think what steps I should take. I guess it's normal for human to have problems, and can you imagine if you live in this world without having problems?

tired

I have been burning myself with school works over the past weeks, and I was really upset that I didn't do my 1st quiz well. I didn't expect that the professor would give us that kind of questions(she would took some of the sentences out from reading and made it a question), and I was sure other students felt the same way. Just to let you know, each chapter consists of six essays, and these were not a short essay..
I thought she would give us some kinds of analytical or logical questions, but it turned out that I had to memorize everything in detail(for each essay).

Now, I am feeling sick and extremely tired. There's not much progress regarding my field placement. I still can't find a perfect place for volunteer, while my paper will due at the end of this month.

My old habit is back!

That means...
I slept very very late...
I had difficulties to close my eyes during bedtime because I had lots of things to do, and that annoyed me so much.

This is what happened to me over the weekend:
I slept at 00:00 on Friday night, neither because I watched a movie, nor I chatted w/ someone else. I read one of my textbooks and tried to finish my journal assignment.
On Saturday night, I slept around 4am, in which I was supposed to sleep early because I had quite a busy activity before that. The truth?? I couldn't sleep and I ended up returning to my desk and finished my reading.
Those rituals continue until this morning.

Today is a labor day, and I promise my classmate that we will study together at the library. I need to go to library to get a book, and the prof requires us to read that book before class. By the way, the class is about social welfare.

Despite of all my personal issues, I had opportunities to:
-meet Indonesians here... from older to younger Indonesians.
-chat with new people, get new different perspective.
-go shopping
-eat Penang food, but Nasi Lemak that I ordered was far from my expectation. It's not that bad, but I expect to eat VERY VERY tasy nasi lemak.
-see the Sun and get a fresh air. (Yes, my homework is killing me!!!!)
-talk with Mommy through phone. Thanks mom!

I've got to go..
see yaaa

mY " free" time

Things that I'm SUPPOSED to do:
1. read my textbooks or articles
2. continue to write a paper for one of my classes

But,

I am busy writing this blog.

Hahaha...

Please don't follow my bad habit.

Meet a new friend

I met this girl when I was waiting for a shuttle bus that would take us to get around the city. It was a free program from School of Social Work. I thought she is an American, but I learned that she is from Turki. I was a little bit sad at that time because my parents had left for NY that morning, and I felt lonely. In short, everything was not right, and my first thought when I saw her was I could be her friend.

She is a lovely girl, and her bachelor degree is in social work. Yes, she is a social worker in Turki. I think I am the only international student whose background is not from social work. There are two other Koreans and both of them have social work degree from a university in Korea. Isn't that nice? Am I crossing the line too far? I learned about this field when I was in the US and never planned that I would study Social Work. But, my confidence is slowly back, which means I should be all right. No need to worry...

Back to my new friend, I get a feeling that we will have a good friendship, and I'm excited. I miss my friends in Ames, miss them so bad, but I can't go back. Well,,, let's keep this for myself.

Anyway, I am glad that I meet her.

Back to SchooL

Lots of reading assignments
Lots of assignments
APA styles
Very very expensive textbooks
1 professor only has 2 scores, either 0 or 100.
Each class runs for ~2hrs
And
still
many
more
and
more

But...
I'm going to survive..
I'm not going to fail
never ever

Wajah Pengantin (Bride or Groom’s face) --> part of my summer activities

One of my childhood friends asked me if I wanted to watch the grand final of “Wajah Pengantin” and without further thinking, I said yes. The show was held in one of the hotels in Semarang, 64 contestants along with approximately eight judges were involved in this event. The judges were those who have been working in the fashion and beauty industries for years, and one of the main sponsors of this event was La Tulipe cosmetic. The committee divided contestants into two categories, casual and bridal in which each category consisted of 16 couples or 32 contestants. From my opinion, the bridal section is more prestigious than the casual section, but it is good enough to be able to move into grand final. Am I right?

Part of the show that I liked most was to see how each contestant walked on catwalk, especially for female contestants. The similarity among those female contestants was that all of them were skinny, tall, and had good looking face. I would have to say that the performance of male contestants both from two categories were not as good as the females’ performance.

In between fashion shows, we were entertained with the body builder & aerobic show, La Tulipe launching cosmetic product, and new trend hair color by Ave Salon.FYI, Ave Salon is one of the famous salons and bridal houses in Semarang. I became bored watching the shows (both from sponsors and contestants) so I left early. I didn’t regret to leave early since I’ve been watching at least ¾ of the entire show, and that was good enough for me. One thing though that I learned from this show was that every one is special. That means you have to have a confidence of yourself despite of what people say about you. Others may say that fashion models aren’t smart, but not everyone can do that job. I even can’t do that job well, but I am good in other parts that fashion models may not be able to do it. So, I advise you to seek your inner qualities and try to improve it. I believe you can do it.

My Summer Vacation

After two years away from Indonesia, I finally could go home for vacation. I felt so great!
I met my high school friends, beloved sister, parents, grandparents, and etc. Everything has been changed, like a lot of new places in my hometown, and I saw my friends were changed, too!

Following is my observation about Indonesia including my hometown:
1.Cengkareng is very crowded. It doesn’t look like an international airport. Some people have been complaining about its messiness via newspaper, but it seemed to me that no one cares.
2.The government tries to “kill” all corruptors.
3.Tax, tax, and tax. The government is strict w/ tax collection.
4.Smoke! Almost everyone is smoking.
5.Dirty, as always
6.Malls. Indonesia is not as primitive as foreigners think. We have pretty malls. My friends took me to GI (Grand Indonesia) which is one of the biggest and the most luxury malls in Indonesia. You don’t need to go to S’pore or KL for shopping. You can go to Jakarta for shopping. Tunjungan Plaza III in Surabaya offers branded products like ZARA, LV, and etc. Paragon Mall will open in Semarang, and it is under construction right now.
7.the government promotes “Visit Indonesia 2008”
8.Fancy cars. I saw a lot of nice cars like Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Toyota Harrier, and etc almost everywhere.
9.Skinny, pretty models and movie stars. Skinnier-> better :P
10.Indonesian movies are still up.
11.I hate sinetron. My mom likes to watch “Cinta Fitri” while I think that the drama series aka sinetron look ridiculous.
12.Messy road. Most of the time, I’ll become paranoid when I am inside the car. My sister said that I needed to ride a public bus or mikrolet (bajaj) so that I won’t be afraid when I go out w/ her.
13.Traffic children or a lot of children or beggars on the street.
14.Indonesian food is still delicious.

And still many more….
Last but not least…
I would like to thank my friend, "I" who is kind enough to let me visit her workplace, who wants to sit in the 1st row watching Dark Knight, and who helps me to organize place for small reunion.
I am also grateful for the little gift from E. The piggy is making an annoying sound, but I love it.
Thanks to my sister… who wants to accompany me eating a lot of good food… hahahaha

FamiLy

I had some regrets this morning.
First, I regret that I didn't check SQ schedule when I booked my ticket couple months ago.
Second, I regret to bring up 1 question which leads into a disaster.

SooN.,,

One and 1/2 more days and I'll be at home.
My mood is up and down.. hard to describe, but I look forward to meeting my family.

I've been waiting for this time since Dec 2007.. right after my roommate left for good. Things happened at home, and not much I could do, so this Summer I need to go home.

What else??
Ooh.. I slept almost all days yesterday. I thought my long sleeping would cover the other times when I had insomnia.. hahahaha...
Nothing special this morning other than counting how many hours left before my flight to Indonesia.
I went to church, St. Paul Cathedral, which is close to my apartment. I fall in love with this church, and I even tell myself that I want to get married in this church, or at least a church whose interior is similar to this one.
I think there is one church in Semarang, whose interior is close to St. Paul Cathedral's interior, but I couldn't remember the name. The church isn't big, and it's not Cathedral Church. I believe the location is close to my high school. (FYI, we have one Cathedral Church in Semarang, but it's not as pretty as the one in Pittsburgh.)

I am excited to meet my high school friends, try to picture how they look like. Well, I can check their pictures through Friendster, but still I want to see the actual face. Hahaha..
In addition to this, I feel that I lose (a little bit) weight since I move to Pitt.. My mood was not good for the first two weeks here. I miss my Amesians... I am exhausted with my moving process like buying new book cabinets.. I walk a lot, so I burn calories, and my mind doesn't stop thinking which cause me to lose appetite. I am hungry, but I am too tired to cook. No more energy to cook.. I only want to drink and drink... Isn't that weird??

One Saturday------

I planned to stop by .......... but the place apparently was being used for reception or event, so I had to walk home w/ mission unaccomplished.
However, I went to Starbuck which was only 1 block away from this place. :) I am addicted to Doubleshot on Ice, and I have been drinking that doubleshot almost every day w/ the min. size grande.. hahaha...
Most of the time, I use doubleshot as my lunch meal due to the hot weather in Pittsburgh made me to get a drink not food. I tried to go back to my original style, hot coffee like cappuccino or latte, but the weather just not right. :P

Still about food and beverage, I went to one Chinese restaurant close to my apartment. We had a farewell party for one Indonesian who will go home (for good) today in this restaurant. I was half hungry at that time, so all food tasted delicious. There was one menu that I didn't recall its name, and it was yummy. They put sweet cream milk inside scallops, rolled them w/ flour and deep fried. When you bite the scallops, the cream will melt and fill in your mouth right away. Hahahaha...
Somehow I feel that this menu is not an entree but a dessert. I'm sure everyone loves it.

Two more days and I'll go home. I am between excited, yet nervous w/ my upcoming vacation. I know that I can't runaway, so I have to face the biggest fear which will come SOON. I'm sorry that I can't share about that, but this is something that I've been worried since I was a little.

Music

My recent favorite songs:

1. "Say" by John Mayer
2. "What You Got" by Colby O' Donnis ft. Akon
3. "No Air" by Jordin Spark ft. Chris Brown
4. "Realize" by Colbie Caillat
5. "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis

and many more...
hahaha