coffee lover

HeeeLLLooooooO

2008-10-25T11:16:00.002-04:00

Wow!

Soo many things happen to me this month.
I have been starting my practicum for ~2 weeks, and I have complicated feeling in regard to the works I am going to perform for the next 8 mths.
I am still in the process of adjusting myself, and I believe that I will see BIG things out there... something nice in my agency, and I enjoy meeting the kids. The saddest thing is that the location is far away from Oakland area. It takes ~1.5 hrs trip from Oakland to my agency, so total hours for round trips will be 3 hours.

Another flip side from my practicum is that I have to accomodate my times very effectively and efficiently. My academic workloads combine with my practicum works make my days a little bit tough...

However, I do have good news...
I saw pretty fireworks last night...
I also enjoyed my times with oppa.

HeLL

2008-10-02T22:53:00.006-04:00

Midterm is around the corner, and that means everyone is starting to get panic including me. On the other hand, I question myself if I am really in a panic mode, or I just pretend that I am panic.
Perhaps, I should say that I just want to get over these daunting midterms.

Some of my close classmates are really stressed out, even though I know deep down they will get at least A- for each midterm exam. They have been studying since two weeks ago. Some even studied in a library all days all weeks. Therefore, they should not worry for midterms. right???
Unfortunately, this is not the case because they keep saying "I don't understand this and that." I admit that I admire their efforts to email our professors just to get the answers. However, I also wonder whether the professors will get tired or not in responding their questions because they asked too much questions, which I believed they could find some of the answers from textbooks.
I am so tired.. emotionally tired, so I just pray that I can survive until Thanksgiving break. The practicum will start soon, so I am not allowed to get sick..

I also don't know why I feel sad lately.. I have lots of things going on, and I don't know which one that I should do first... How I wish that I have someone other than my mom to talk with. Mom has enough problem, so I should not bother her, and I can't rely on my sister, too. I am just tired. That's it.

Idul Fitri

2008-09-30T12:30:00.003-04:00

Eid Mubarak... I guess that the English words for Idul Fitri.

midterm is next week
Field practicum will start two weeks from now

Mixed

2008-09-23T21:49:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I feel that people come to me because they need my helps
but
they will leave me, once their problems are solved.
Sometimes
I want to know everything about my friends, what they discuss, and what they think
but
I know that everyone deserves a privacy, which means he/she wants to keep it for him/herself.
Sometimes
I wonder if there is anyone out there besides my parents who always think about me all the time
but
I know it is useless and bring no good for having that thought.

At the end,
I should always have a positive thinking.
I should not be too sensitive to my friends and everything in my surroundings.
I should believe that there is a good thing, a big surprise that is waiting for me.
I know I will get there
and I understand that it is okay, if you suddenly just feel terrible about yourself.
I thank God for His guidance and protection because I can't imagine what my life look like without Him.

Untitled

2008-09-19T11:02:00.004-04:00

So many things happened to me this week. Some of them are good, some are not okay.
The good news:
my high school friend gave birth a baby girl on Thursday morning.
one of my undergraduate friends were married last week or at the second week of September.
I did a volunteer interview and tried to make this for my field practicum w/ additional works (of course). I got a sense that they seemed to like me, but they won't say anything until they receive all references back to their office.
I will do another placement interview next Wednesday. I am not sure if I like it, but I've got to try..
I will do a "speedy" volunteer this coming Monday so that I can write my paper.
Today is Friday, I can relax a little bit.

Not-so-good news:
I still stuck with the diversity quiz... Not sure, how I can get back on track
I am really OVERWHELMED with all the graduate school works... It makes me think that I will not continue to PhD. No, thanks.
And many more...

Another thing that I want to share is a story of my classmate. We have same classes except on Monday. Both of us are international students and come from Asia.The differences: I am a female and my classmate is a male. He is from Korea and I am from Indo. He actually lives in Seoul and has social work degree from a univ in Korea.
One day he said that he used all his salaries that he has saved for ~3 yrs from his navy job to go to graduate school. His story really stuck in my head for some reason..
I am sure other people do the same thing, but this is the first time I hear a "Live" story from a "real" person. Not only I am amazed w/ his spirit, but I also respect him. It makes me think that I shouldn't give up with my situation, that I should keep moving on. Probably this is why I don't like to see people whose hobby is to waste money, but no effort to produce money or show something good.

Roller coaster weekend

2008-09-14T20:18:00.003-04:00

Friday:
The Original Mattress Factory Museum
Panera
Phipps Conservatory

Saturday:
Lunch at CMU truck
Run errands

Sunday:
church
Lunch at Belgian restaurant..
another run errand...
Study

When????

2008-09-11T10:10:00.002-04:00

When will my placement get confirmed??
I still can't get hold on her... I wonder how busy she is until she even can't respond my calls.

Still working on my placement...

2008-09-09T12:08:00.003-04:00

Yep...
I got one potential agency for my placement, but I couldn't get hold on the director of that program. I hope she will return my call sometimes before the end of this week.
It is not a hospital setting, but the program is dedicated for behavioral and mental healths issues. I will interact with families as well.. I admit that I feel jealous when my classmates said that they got a placement at the hospital setting or psychiatric ward.. I questioned why I didn't get it... Do I miss something here???
However.... I'm trying to not argue or complain as long as I get a placement for Fall. I will work hard for Summer and next year... People say that I am persistent.. so I'm going to make it, though it can make me exhausted.

For volunteer, I get quite good response... one is for hospital volunteer and another is for school setting where I will work with little kids.. I hope I can get one and do my 1st volunteer before Sept 29.

Patience

2008-09-04T16:13:00.002-04:00

I still don't hear anything regarding my placement and plan to visit my advisor's office tomorrow.
My ticket to Indonesia for Christmas is still on waiting list because I insist to return to US on Jan 2,09 instead of Jan 1,09. I don't know if it is worthy to go home for Christmas, but I don't want to spend my Christmas alone.. For sure, I don't want to celebrate my Christmas in Pittsburgh. Do I really hate Pittsburgh? This city is not that bad. It is pretty, but I still feel lost in Pittsburgh.
I keep telling myself that this is a temporary issue. Later on, I can get along with the environment, or I will refuse to return to my hometown... :P

Remember when I mentioned about my 1st quiz?? I got the score this afternoon. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good enough. It relieved me a little bit because I didn't get 50.. Next time, I'll study hard.. make sure that I read all essays well. If necessary, I'll memorize everything in detail.

Last but not least, I have lots of things going on with me,, too much until I can't think what steps I should take. I guess it's normal for human to have problems, and can you imagine if you live in this world without having problems?

tired

2008-09-02T22:26:00.004-04:00

I have been burning myself with school works over the past weeks, and I was really upset that I didn't do my 1st quiz well. I didn't expect that the professor would give us that kind of questions(she would took some of the sentences out from reading and made it a question), and I was sure other students felt the same way. Just to let you know, each chapter consists of six essays, and these were not a short essay..
I thought she would give us some kinds of analytical or logical questions, but it turned out that I had to memorize everything in detail(for each essay).

Now, I am feeling sick and extremely tired. There's not much progress regarding my field placement. I still can't find a perfect place for volunteer, while my paper will due at the end of this month.

My old habit is back!

2008-09-01T08:57:00.004-04:00

That means...
I slept very very late...
I had difficulties to close my eyes during bedtime because I had lots of things to do, and that annoyed me so much.

This is what happened to me over the weekend:
I slept at 00:00 on Friday night, neither because I watched a movie, nor I chatted w/ someone else. I read one of my textbooks and tried to finish my journal assignment.
On Saturday night, I slept around 4am, in which I was supposed to sleep early because I had quite a busy activity before that. The truth?? I couldn't sleep and I ended up returning to my desk and finished my reading.
Those rituals continue until this morning.

Today is a labor day, and I promise my classmate that we will study together at the library. I need to go to library to get a book, and the prof requires us to read that book before class. By the way, the class is about social welfare.

Despite of all my personal issues, I had opportunities to:
-meet Indonesians here... from older to younger Indonesians.
-chat with new people, get new different perspective.
-go shopping
-eat Penang food, but Nasi Lemak that I ordered was far from my expectation. It's not that bad, but I expect to eat VERY VERY tasy nasi lemak.
-see the Sun and get a fresh air. (Yes, my homework is killing me!!!!)
-talk with Mommy through phone. Thanks mom!

I've got to go..
see yaaa

mY " free" time

2008-08-27T21:54:00.002-04:00

Things that I'm SUPPOSED to do:
1. read my textbooks or articles
2. continue to write a paper for one of my classes

But,

I am busy writing this blog.

Hahaha...

Please don't follow my bad habit.

Meet a new friend

2008-08-27T21:34:00.003-04:00

I met this girl when I was waiting for a shuttle bus that would take us to get around the city. It was a free program from School of Social Work. I thought she is an American, but I learned that she is from Turki. I was a little bit sad at that time because my parents had left for NY that morning, and I felt lonely. In short, everything was not right, and my first thought when I saw her was I could be her friend.

She is a lovely girl, and her bachelor degree is in social work. Yes, she is a social worker in Turki. I think I am the only international student whose background is not from social work. There are two other Koreans and both of them have social work degree from a university in Korea. Isn't that nice? Am I crossing the line too far? I learned about this field when I was in the US and never planned that I would study Social Work. But, my confidence is slowly back, which means I should be all right. No need to worry...

Back to my new friend, I get a feeling that we will have a good friendship, and I'm excited. I miss my friends in Ames, miss them so bad, but I can't go back. Well,,, let's keep this for myself.

Anyway, I am glad that I meet her.

Back to SchooL

2008-08-26T22:33:00.002-04:00

Lots of reading assignments
Lots of assignments
APA styles
Very very expensive textbooks
1 professor only has 2 scores, either 0 or 100.
Each class runs for ~2hrs
And
still
many
more
and
more

But...
I'm going to survive..
I'm not going to fail
never ever

Wajah Pengantin (Bride or Groom’s face) --> part of my summer activities

2008-08-24T13:07:00.001-04:00

One of my childhood friends asked me if I wanted to watch the grand final of “Wajah Pengantin” and without further thinking, I said yes. The show was held in one of the hotels in Semarang, 64 contestants along with approximately eight judges were involved in this event. The judges were those who have been working in the fashion and beauty industries for years, and one of the main sponsors of this event was La Tulipe cosmetic. The committee divided contestants into two categories, casual and bridal in which each category consisted of 16 couples or 32 contestants. From my opinion, the bridal section is more prestigious than the casual section, but it is good enough to be able to move into grand final. Am I right?

Part of the show that I liked most was to see how each contestant walked on catwalk, especially for female contestants. The similarity among those female contestants was that all of them were skinny, tall, and had good looking face. I would have to say that the performance of male contestants both from two categories were not as good as the females’ performance.

In between fashion shows, we were entertained with the body builder & aerobic show, La Tulipe launching cosmetic product, and new trend hair color by Ave Salon.FYI, Ave Salon is one of the famous salons and bridal houses in Semarang. I became bored watching the shows (both from sponsors and contestants) so I left early. I didn’t regret to leave early since I’ve been watching at least ¾ of the entire show, and that was good enough for me. One thing though that I learned from this show was that every one is special. That means you have to have a confidence of yourself despite of what people say about you. Others may say that fashion models aren’t smart, but not everyone can do that job. I even can’t do that job well, but I am good in other parts that fashion models may not be able to do it. So, I advise you to seek your inner qualities and try to improve it. I believe you can do it.

My Summer Vacation

2008-08-19T21:36:00.004-04:00

After two years away from Indonesia, I finally could go home for vacation. I felt so great!
I met my high school friends, beloved sister, parents, grandparents, and etc. Everything has been changed, like a lot of new places in my hometown, and I saw my friends were changed, too!

Following is my observation about Indonesia including my hometown:
1.Cengkareng is very crowded. It doesn’t look like an international airport. Some people have been complaining about its messiness via newspaper, but it seemed to me that no one cares.
2.The government tries to “kill” all corruptors.
3.Tax, tax, and tax. The government is strict w/ tax collection.
4.Smoke! Almost everyone is smoking.
5.Dirty, as always
6.Malls. Indonesia is not as primitive as foreigners think. We have pretty malls. My friends took me to GI (Grand Indonesia) which is one of the biggest and the most luxury malls in Indonesia. You don’t need to go to S’pore or KL for shopping. You can go to Jakarta for shopping. Tunjungan Plaza III in Surabaya offers branded products like ZARA, LV, and etc. Paragon Mall will open in Semarang, and it is under construction right now.
7.the government promotes “Visit Indonesia 2008”
8.Fancy cars. I saw a lot of nice cars like Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Toyota Harrier, and etc almost everywhere.
9.Skinny, pretty models and movie stars. Skinnier-> better :P
10.Indonesian movies are still up.
11.I hate sinetron. My mom likes to watch “Cinta Fitri” while I think that the drama series aka sinetron look ridiculous.
12.Messy road. Most of the time, I’ll become paranoid when I am inside the car. My sister said that I needed to ride a public bus or mikrolet (bajaj) so that I won’t be afraid when I go out w/ her.
13.Traffic children or a lot of children or beggars on the street.
14.Indonesian food is still delicious.

And still many more….
Last but not least…
I would like to thank my friend, "I" who is kind enough to let me visit her workplace, who wants to sit in the 1st row watching Dark Knight, and who helps me to organize place for small reunion.
I am also grateful for the little gift from E. The piggy is making an annoying sound, but I love it.
Thanks to my sister… who wants to accompany me eating a lot of good food… hahahaha

FamiLy

2008-06-23T12:43:00.003-04:00

I had some regrets this morning.
First, I regret that I didn't check SQ schedule when I booked my ticket couple months ago.
Second, I regret to bring up 1 question which leads into a disaster.

SooN.,,

2008-06-22T14:03:00.003-04:00

One and 1/2 more days and I'll be at home.
My mood is up and down.. hard to describe, but I look forward to meeting my family.

I've been waiting for this time since Dec 2007.. right after my roommate left for good. Things happened at home, and not much I could do, so this Summer I need to go home.

What else??
Ooh.. I slept almost all days yesterday. I thought my long sleeping would cover the other times when I had insomnia.. hahahaha...
Nothing special this morning other than counting how many hours left before my flight to Indonesia.
I went to church, St. Paul Cathedral, which is close to my apartment. I fall in love with this church, and I even tell myself that I want to get married in this church, or at least a church whose interior is similar to this one.
I think there is one church in Semarang, whose interior is close to St. Paul Cathedral's interior, but I couldn't remember the name. The church isn't big, and it's not Cathedral Church. I believe the location is close to my high school. (FYI, we have one Cathedral Church in Semarang, but it's not as pretty as the one in Pittsburgh.)

I am excited to meet my high school friends, try to picture how they look like. Well, I can check their pictures through Friendster, but still I want to see the actual face. Hahaha..
In addition to this, I feel that I lose (a little bit) weight since I move to Pitt.. My mood was not good for the first two weeks here. I miss my Amesians... I am exhausted with my moving process like buying new book cabinets.. I walk a lot, so I burn calories, and my mind doesn't stop thinking which cause me to lose appetite. I am hungry, but I am too tired to cook. No more energy to cook.. I only want to drink and drink... Isn't that weird??

One Saturday------

2008-06-21T11:02:00.003-04:00

I planned to stop by .......... but the place apparently was being used for reception or event, so I had to walk home w/ mission unaccomplished.
However, I went to Starbuck which was only 1 block away from this place. :) I am addicted to Doubleshot on Ice, and I have been drinking that doubleshot almost every day w/ the min. size grande.. hahaha...
Most of the time, I use doubleshot as my lunch meal due to the hot weather in Pittsburgh made me to get a drink not food. I tried to go back to my original style, hot coffee like cappuccino or latte, but the weather just not right. :P

Still about food and beverage, I went to one Chinese restaurant close to my apartment. We had a farewell party for one Indonesian who will go home (for good) today in this restaurant. I was half hungry at that time, so all food tasted delicious. There was one menu that I didn't recall its name, and it was yummy. They put sweet cream milk inside scallops, rolled them w/ flour and deep fried. When you bite the scallops, the cream will melt and fill in your mouth right away. Hahahaha...
Somehow I feel that this menu is not an entree but a dessert. I'm sure everyone loves it.

Two more days and I'll go home. I am between excited, yet nervous w/ my upcoming vacation. I know that I can't runaway, so I have to face the biggest fear which will come SOON. I'm sorry that I can't share about that, but this is something that I've been worried since I was a little.

Music

2008-06-21T08:22:00.002-04:00

My recent favorite songs:

1. "Say" by John Mayer
2. "What You Got" by Colby O' Donnis ft. Akon
3. "No Air" by Jordin Spark ft. Chris Brown
4. "Realize" by Colbie Caillat
5. "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis

and many more...
hahaha

Book Worm...

2008-06-18T21:17:00.003-04:00

This is my third week in Pittsburgh, but I'd already bought two books, checked out a book from Carnegie Library, and have been in and out from several bookstores. The public library is very nice, huge (sorry, I'm from small town, and we only have 1 medium-size public library), and comfy. It seems to me that I enter a bookstore, not a library! I found a lot of good books, I mean up-to-date books, and more good stuff. Too bad that I'm going to leave Pittsburgh for 2 mths, so I can't borrow the books and take them home.

Then,,,,
Yesterday, I visited my friend's house, and he showed me two books in which one of them is his favorite book. He happened to ask me about my hobbies last week, and I told him that one of them was reading. That's why he showed me his books, and he ended up lending me his favorite book. I didn't ask, but he really wanted me to read it. A book which was written by Indonesian author, and I haven't finished reading it. He even said that he wanted to get a feedback from me. I guess the author of this book must be someone special for him, I mean more than just a best friend.

I don't really like to read comics... hehehe..
I started to read a novel back when I was in the late middle school, but I didn't read the novel well, boring, so I stopped. I then started to read again when I was in the tenth grade because my classmate who sat next to me was paid attention to Harry Potter not school materials. Her conversation topic always evolved around Harry Potter, so I became curious and asked if I could borrow her Harry Potter book. That was the beginning. I read all Harry Potter books, kept reading until 2 AM in the morning, and finally stopped when I moved to United States.

I began to learn to read novels that are written in English during my college years, and it wasn't easy... In addition to English novels, I was required to read scientific/business journals, newspaper, textbooks, and all were written in English. It was a daunting task to read English textbooks especially when you didn't like the subject, but you had no choices. But, I still enjoyed reading fiction novels, like romantic, loving novels. :)

Not until I worked w/ youths that I switched my reading preferences from romantic-fancy novels to family or children oriented books. This pattern is still happening until now, even though I try to mix it a little bit by choosing fiction novels. Still, I ended up reading informational books that require extra thoughts in order to understand the concept. I am really afraid that I'll get bored with these types of books, so I forced myself to borrow some fancy books, any readings that are easy to be understood. :)

I hope, one day, when I have children, at least one of them will inherit my reading hobby,, hahahaha

Band-Aid Week

2008-06-11T10:43:00.004-04:00

I've been using at least 3 band-aids every time I go outside or leave my apartment building since Monday. My old sandal needs to be replaced, but the new one hurts my feets!

Anyway, happy band-aid!

Hot... Hot.... Hot Day....

2008-06-09T11:28:00.003-04:00

Ooh...
Pittsburgh's weather is really hot!!!!!!!!!!
I think my skin is getting darker than before... hahaha....
Also, my both feet are swollen due to new sandal and a lot of walking. T_T

Well, not much to say.. I'll fly home in less than 2 weeks.
I hope everything goes well.

Pittsburgh

2008-06-06T11:36:00.003-04:00

Yes!
I'm in Pittsburgh now...
The weather is hot... ~90F
No furniture, only one study chair
You can dance in my living room
My rice cooker is completely broken after I shipped it through USPS
No electric stove,instead, I use gas stove
My bathroom is very small
I'm still waiting for my laptop's AC adapter
No Internet because of my adapter hasn't arrived yet
No TV
I burn more calories because I walk almost every day, and it's summer
I'm excited for Fall semester, yet I am nervous for the registration and field placement

So far, I'm still survived
I'll be fine when Fall semester starts

Fine Afternoon

2008-05-22T22:56:00.003-04:00

I visited my friend this afternoon to ask some questions, but I ended up staying at her place for ~3.5 hrs. It went pretty smooth at the beginning because she explained every single detail to make sure that I understood the location and etc. Our conversation began to change right after I asked if she is ready to leave. I've never seen her shared her concerns and everything like that, but I neither stopped nor asked her. I led her to speak for the next 20 minutes, and I listened to her carefully. Later, she confessed somehow felt embarassed because she told everything to little girl (referred to me) and wondered if I understood her situation.

I convinced her that I understood and her situation was normal that everyone would experience it. I then helped her to clean the fish tank until about 4:30pm.. Technically it's not her fish tank, but she helped to clean, so I helped her too. I hope she will feel much better after that, and I hope that I don't give her unreasonable feedback.

That afternoon's conversation is still playing inside my head, and I don't know why.

I don't know...
My mind is blank right now...
hehehe...

LoOnggg

2008-05-22T11:12:00.003-04:00

Ooh,,,
I've just found out that one of my bedroom's window screens is not properly attached to its frame. I tried to fix it,but it didn't work, so I decided to call maintenance. They then said that all technicians are busy today, so it will be fixed in the next few days...
My question: When are they going to fix it since I'll do my carpet cleaning on Tuesday (5/27)??

Next..
I've been waiting for a response from Upitt international adviser regarding my I-20. There is a minor mistake in my new I-20 because it is supposed to have a same SEVIS#, but the intl. adviser from ISU found out ~3.5 wks ago that it had different # from my previous I-20. She told me that the process only took 1-3 days, so I could do it later. Well... I didn't want to wait until June, so I contacted the immigration specialist in Upitt and haven't received any responses at all..
I sent 2 e-mails and called her. She wasn't in her office, so I left a message, gave her my cell phone#, but still no response. I am thinking to call her once again.. tomorrow...

I feel that today time goes really slow... I keep checking my watch, somehow expect that it's 1 pm already, but it's not...

12 Days to Pittsburgh

2008-05-20T11:20:00.003-04:00

I cleaned my oven yesterday, put some spices inside tupperware, and removed some of the remaining clothes from closet to suitcase. Last time, I left some clothes in closet and kept the rest in suitcases, but as days passed, I decided to transfer more to another suitcase. I also felt that I was not in a mood to clean kitchen, but I can do it within 2 hours. My apartment is not a mess, so it should be easy to clean the whole apartment by Monday (5.26.08)

I am lately addicted to watch online Asia drama, probably I do it to kill my spare times, but I should stop this habit SOON.
Last night I ended up sleeping at 2 AM because I kept watching the drama. ^_^
I currently watch "It Started with a Kiss" (Taiwanese version), and it is really entertaining, even though I have to admit that I keep pointing why the relationship is breakdown easily. Earlier I thought this drama would be exactly same w/ the Japanese version, but they added more and extended the story like life after marriage. It was surprised me that I could pinpoint which parts of communication that didn't work, and more... I guess it is because I took family communication
class and other family classes during my last semester at Iowa State.

After all, it is a movie, not a real life. I am really afraid right now. I am afraid to move... 12 days left...

BlanK

2008-05-17T22:36:00.003-04:00

I feel really lost today. The only time I left my apartment was to go to church, and the rest of it was at home watching online asian drama. Last night I couldn't sleep, so my mom called me. She was half freak out because I insisted that I still couldn't sleep despite it was 1:30am already. She asked what was going on in my head, and I said nothing. Yes, I lied to her, but I couldn't share my worries to her since she'd already had enough things going on.

2 weeks more, and I will leave Ames for real. I am scared, really scared, but I can't go back. Next Sunday will be busy for me because I will move all my stuff to my friend's apartment, and carpet cleaning is scheduled on Tuesday (5/27). A week after that is my departure to Pittsburgh. I also need to clean kitchen, 2 bathrooms, and etc.

Basically my mood is really not good today,,,, or I should say for past 3 days.
What kind of life will I have in Pittsburgh? I want to try something new. Last time, one of my friends told me that the first time she met me, she thought I was a girl who had just left old strict Catholic school... Hoh!
I admit that I tend to be quite when I am around people, but I can be as talkative as an anchor speaks in front of video camera when I know the people long enough. I can be as silly as any characters in cartoon movies when I need to act silly.

Oh... I guess that's all for now.
Happy Saturday!

Dag Dig Dug...

2008-05-14T13:56:00.003-04:00

I am really nervous
nervous...
very very nervous..
*******************************************************************************
By the way, mediacom doesn't serve Pittsburgh area. That's weird,,, instead, they have comcast..
I'd already checked both the monthly and installation fees for Internet. This Internet stuff will cost me about $170 total, and the monhtly fee itself is about $68since I am a new customer.
I haven't decided if I need cable TV since it's not as urgent as Internet..
Does anyone know about HDTV? I heard that starting next year, they will implement this program, and I'm not quite understand how it works. When I checked comcast.com, they mentioned about addition equipment-I can't remember the name- to install the program..

Wrong Plan...

2008-05-13T14:38:00.003-04:00

So..
I transferred $$ from one account to another one (different state), and I tried to avoid cost, so I did what the bank teller suggested me. At the end, I ended up paying more (the delivery fee) due to incorrect method and lack of knowledge... **Sigh** Next, I will have to keep my eye on the process, make sure that it will go as I expect.

2 weeks and 4 days left to Pittsburgh. I am getting panic and sad... I can't imagine my life in Pittsburgh, all alone... no my best friends and everything is new. I can only rely on myself and God's guidance. When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was to check a calendar, and I inhaled deeply as I learned that I didn't have much times left.

I have finished packing 3 luggages so far, but I still have to pack the books, microwave, printer, and little things. I hope everything turns great **cross fingers**

Oh,, my,, oh,,,
I don't know what else I have to write...
I think that's all for today..

Bring Back Old Memories

2008-05-10T18:43:00.003-04:00

Today is a graduation day, and I can't believe that 1 yr has already passed...I met my long lost friends, and I was happy to see that they looked nice and healthy.

In addition to that, my old memories suddenly came back, and those memories have been bothering me since yesterday. It was a mixed feeling, between happy,sad, and pain, particularly when I met one of my friends' parents. I knew that they were surprised to see me again because the last time I saw them was 5 yrs ago.I've been predicted that they would be a little bit shock when they saw me, so I'd already prepared for that. Part of my preparation was to give my best shot ever in front of them, and I hoped it worked well. There was such a long pause, memory,and things to be discussed, but I couldn't stand there for long time. We only chatted about 2-3 mins, and I left w/ my best friend to greet other graduates. Another reason that I couldn't stand there was because I wasn't ready to face someone. Occasionally, from long distance, when our eyes happened to catch each other, I gave them a warm smile, as a sign that I still respect them.

If time allows, I hope I can meet them once again before I leave for Pittsburgh. I don't think that's possible, but nobody knows. Right now, I feel sad, really sad, and how I wish that I could turn back time, to see if I could make any changes..

Spirit

2008-05-06T16:05:00.004-04:00

If you wonder what kind of person I am, let me tell you that I am such a BIG WORRIED person. Followings are some real examples that keep running in my head over last 2 weeks:
I can't stop thinking what my life in Pittsburgh will look like.
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't get a field placement
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't meet the criteria and my scholarship will get suspended.
I can't stop worrying about my visa appointment.
I can't stop worrying, what if I don't fit into my new environment.
I can't stop worrying, what if my mom doesn't like my new studio.
I can't stop worrrying, what if I can't find a suitable workplace. A place where I truly belong to...

Those thoughts are really bothered my mind. I keep telling myself that I will be allright, try to assure myself that work life in Pittsburgh will be interesting.
I even convinced myself that I won't repeat the same mistake I made back when I was in undergraduate...
I can't turn back... the only thing I can do is to keep moving forward...
Let my dream come true... I am far away from what Mother Theresa has done to people, but let me be one of her followers. The follower who will not give up to support kids, adolescences and families. I always feel that I do these to make myself feel better.

4 weeks to Pittsburgh--

2008-05-03T09:55:00.002-04:00

I am no longer working as a Youth Specialist effective May 1, 2008. I even can't say good bye to my workplace, therefore; I switch my position from full-time to volunteer during the month of May. I am going to miss my co-workers and workplace after May.

4 weeks from now, I will leave for Pittsburgh permanently, and I try to assure myself that I am going to be allright. Everything is ready, except my packing process, but I am sure it won't take a long time. I am scared to think how my life in Pittsburgh look like, given the fact that I have no one right there. When I came to Ames 5 yrs ago, I had 5 other people who came as a freshman at Iowa State. 4 people including me stayed at residence halls, and some of us had same classes. Thus, I didn't feel lost after all.

Now, I don't know whom I am going to meet, and I keep questioning how I am going to survive in graduate program. I know it's silly to think like that, but I can't deny that I am nervous w/ my life after Ames. Part of me convinced me that I'll be succeed in the program, and part of me questioned my abilities. This part reminded me that Pittsburgh is not Ames, the professors and curriculum won't be the same as the ones I had in Iowa State. The subject is not about Hotel and Food, it is about human and how we take care of them. Your classmates are professional people, cumlaude students, so you need to be careful. At the end, it seemed that this voice is getting stronger than before, and I started to lose my confidence. **Sigh..**

Well... today, one of our friends will go home for good, and we will accompany her to the airport.

I don't know what else to say... I am still speechless...

Have a great weekend!

UpdaTe

2008-04-22T09:48:00.003-04:00

Hello again!

My apartment hunting in Pittsburgh was horrible, but I finally got one. The bad news, it is an expensive one, but I will explain why I come up w/ this particular apartment. I've just got the approval on Monday (4.21) after two days waiting.

Pittsburgh preserves its old buildings, so nearly all the apartment buildings are old. If you go to Iowa State and live in Ames, the buildings are similar to dorms in Richardson Court area such as, Linden Hall, BWR hall, Lyon Hall, and Oak-Elm. Some of the buildings in Pittsburgh even are older than the ones in Richardson Court!!!!!!

I landed on Sunday (April 30) evening, and I managed myself to check some areas behind campus. I found one that I didn't like, so I cancelled my appointment on that night. The next day, I had 4 different appointments and was not satisfied w/ all of them. I visited one apartment, modern building (not built from bricks), but it would cost me nearly $1000 including electric and Internet service. Thus, I didn't pursue it.

Tuesday was much better than Monday's apartment hunting. I visited 3 apartments, the first apartment was good, it is an efficiency, very bright, but no AC. I'll have to pay electric and Internet, and with the rent base, it will give me about $750-$780 per month. The 2nd apartment (under same property management) is a little bit nicer compare the first one, but the heater falls under electric bill, so total rent cost will range $850-$950 per month. Both of them are far from campus, you need to ride a bus, no shuttle buses from univ that will go to that area. The neighborhood is nice, too.
The third apartment is really really far from campus. It takes about 20 minutes (by bus) from apartment to campus area). My admission director helped me to schedule this apartment for me. Only SOcial WOrk grad program students who are allowed to stay in this apartment. The location is on the north side of Oakland (university area), and it belongs to Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. It is cheap, but it is far, so I can't handle it..

the fourth one, is way closer to campus, but not that close. I know it is complicated, but it is difficult to explain unless you see the actual university area in Pittsburgh..
The building is fairly new, not filthy... I have to pay my own electric and Internet, so total monthly rent $750-$850. The shuttle bus will pass that street.

By Wednesday morning, I said to myself that I will pick the one that is close to campus ($750-$850), if my appointment w/ one property management today doesn't go well. I only have one appointment on Wednesday, and won't be able to schedule another one for Thursday and Friday. My last appointment is nice, at least I was impressed from outside, and I learned about this building when I passed by the street. It took me forever to be able to speak w/ the consultant because the line is busy, or no one answered the phone.
The rent covers all utilities incl electric, so I only need to add Internet service. The total will fall somewhere $872. The shuttle bus goes to my street..

After thinking and thinking, I decided to take the last one. Most apartments that I like, the rent fee will fall about the same ($750-$860)Not until Monday that I learned that this apartment was confirmed.

I haven't told my Mom that I chose this one, because I couldn't get hold on her for a week. She took a group to one Asian country for 7 days...

ANyway, it was a long trip for me.... 6 days in Pittsburgh, all alone...
I was glad that I could go back to Ames. Life in Pittsburgh is not as easy as life in Ames...

When you don't travel back & forth from Indo-US....

2008-04-12T12:01:00.002-04:00

I used to travel internationally every 6 mths, but I stopped doing that since July 2006. Thus, my frequent flyer program is dropped from Premium to General Member effective February 2008. :P
It is a sad thing, but there's not much I can do. I mean, I haven't been at home since Summer 2 yrs ago, and I couldn't go home while I was on duty here. Thus, I can't earn any privileges like economy plus seats and upgrade to business class. Anyway, I'll return home for vacation this coming Summer, but I am tempting to use another airline, and I am hoping that I can transfer my mileage from this flight to my current frequent flyer program since they are under Star Alliance partner.

Meanwhile, I will earn another 2000 miles by April 18, 08 because I had roundtrip domestic flight from Des Moines to Pittsburgh. I will earn another 1000 miles somewhere around May because I'll leave for Pittsburgh in May..
Hahaha... it is a lot of calculation, but I will see how far I can go to get back to premium status.. :)

Tomorrow is my departure to Pittsburgh. This time I will stay for 6 days, and I wish I could accomplish my goals during my visit at Pittsburgh.

p.s. It's snow in Ames right now.. How lame is that????

Between Happy and Sad....

2008-04-09T18:07:00.005-04:00

I only have 5 work times left as a Youth Specialist. This morning one of my co-workers pushed me to tell everybody when my last day of work is, so I had no choice other than telling her that April 30 is my last day. I know that she is nervous because this means she has to work by herself after that. FYI, she used to work as a Flex, but she moved to regular schedule since March due to budget issue. Therefore, she works with me from Thursday until Saturday, and my supervisor removed the part-time who used to work w/ me around that time from the schedule.

After meeting, I spoke w/ both my director and supervisor that I will volunteer during the month of May (from Thursday to Friday) to cover the empty spot temporarily. I also told them that I will move to Pittsburgh in June and won't volunteer on full hours. I will just come from 3pm -8:30pm and help w/ group, recreation and free time. The decision whether a part-time will work on that part is up to my supervisor. Some of my co-workers said that I am crazy, but I know the feeling of working w/ no consistent partner, and I don't want my partner will feel that way. I will do the best to help them during that transition.

So, that's the mixed feeling that happened at work. Late afternoon, I learned that one of my best friends just got a job in Arkansas. I know that he has been waiting for the result since Saturday, and I know that he wants the job so bad. Thus, I am happy for him, but I cannot deny that I feel sad, somehow jealous that he gets a job. Suddenly, I feel that I am not going to see him because he will move to Arkansas in about 2 weeks. That means I return to Ames and he leaves for Arkansas. I also think that her girl friend will definitely go to see him right after the semester ends, and I'm not sure I can go w/ her because I have to pack my stuff, clean my apartment, and etc. Or, I should say, I am not sure she wants me to join her. Nobody knows.
The jealous part is arised because I will not get a monthly salary after April, and it reminds me of my job hunting moment. I was exhausted during job hunting and didn't get a full time job until October 2007. I did get a part-time job, though I worked like a full-time person, but still it was a part-time job. So, for about 20 minutes, I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be jealous because I will return to grad school, get a scholarship, a stipend, and my univ is one of the top grad schools in the social work program. Moreover, I get all kudos from my work friends, ex-college friends, ex- professors, and even from the director of the program. Thus, there's no reason to be jealous. Or, I probably have a mixed feeling between jealous and afraid. I am afraid that I'm not be able to hang out w/ my friends during the month of May, and I am afraid that everybody will leave before I am gone for Pittsburgh. I really don't know what's going on w/ me.

Then, despite all those terrible feeling, my roommate will move out from my apartment by April 20. That means, I have to pay the May rent plus the utilities by myself. I asked her about carpet cleaning, and she said that she is going to reimburse for 1/3 of the total cost of carpet cleaning. The reason she is going to pay 1/3 is because she moved to my apartment on Jan 14 this year. I am thinking to not charge her at all since I feel uneasy w/ money discussion. Somehow, I expected her to pay full rent fee for APril, but she only paid me for 20 days rent considering that she will move on April 20. Sigh...

Well, I expect that I will feel better after writing this blog, but I apparently still feel terrible. For sure, I feel sad at this time, really sad.

Workaholic

2008-03-29T10:08:00.004-04:00

Hoh!
I worked 7 days in a row this week, 50.5 hrs up to Friday night, and I will end up working 60hrs by Saturday night (3.29).

Last night was the crazy time I ever had in my work history at shelter. My work partner had to take 1 client to hospital, and they left about 6pm, didn't return until midnight. Thus, I had to take care of 10 clients, 2 volunteers from 4-6pm, and one part time came to help me at 6pm.
These 10 clients are very active and hyper, with one of them needs to get special attention, and this doesn't include answering incoming calls from parents who need helps. Next, I had family visited a kid in shelter and needed to check their IDs, monitored kids who played in the living room from office. I kept putting parents on hold because I had to confront kids of what they were doing in the living room, and I was sure that they could hear my voice from the phone.

1 out of 2 volunteers left close before 8pm, so that left me w/ 10 clients, 1 brand-new volunteer, and 1 part time. In between that time, I organized meds, printed the forms,talked w/ parents for placing their kids at shelter, talked w/ my client, dispensed bedtime meds, and called my on-call supervisor for some issues. By 8:35pm, I had my part-time to take all clients for evening snack, explained what kind of snacks they could have, told her clients who were eligible for special snack, and was still stuck w/ phone calls. 8:50pm- I told all kids to go upstairs, got ready for bedtime, told them to be quiet because I had works to do.
9pm-I called 1 parent, told her what my supervisor said, then she decided to place her kid at shelter. She said that she would be in shelter in 15 minutes. My part time then left shelter in a rush including the brand-new volunteer, so I had to take care all clients by myself. The house alarm was already on, but I couldn't do 1st bedcheck until 9:15pm.
9:30pm- New intake came, my work-partner called from hospital, told me that she was still stuck in the hospital, and I ended up telling her that I couldn't talk to her. She then called bunch of PRNs to see if one of them could come to shelter to help me. By 10pm, I took new client to his room, taught him how to make his bed, and another part-time came to help me.

Around 10pm, another phone call from parent who had issues w/ his daughter, so he wanted to place her daughter back to shelter. I tempted to say "We are full now," but I dropped my evil thought. I told him that I still had 1 bed open, but she had to share a room w/ someone else, asked if that's okay. He agreed, so by 10:45pm another intake arrived. I did quick paperwork and had a part-time to take her to bedroom.

After that, I started to finish little things that couldn't be done during evening time. Night Manager arrived at 11 pm, and I updated him, asked him to repeat what he wrote on his notes because my brain was full. I kept working w/ all forms, continued logging, and updated him for info that I forgot to tell him. I then apologized to my co-workers because my sentences were kind of messed up. I was really overwhelmed, lots of things needed to be done, so I talked fast, and I carried accent w/ me, so they needed to customize their listening skills during that time. They laughed when they heard my comments. Anyway, I left shelter at 1 AM, my work-partner arrived around midnight, she updated parent, finished important parts for her report,complained to me that she had a rough night, too.

I feel that I should get paid more than what engineers receive each month. In between my work stress, I admitted that this society is in a wreck condition. Lack of parenting skills, lack of commitment, and one thing that bothered me so much was watching kids with mental disorders. I am really sad to see that reality, don't know what else I can do. I keep asking myself, how are we going to cure or improve our society? Should I cure them? How am I going to fix them? Will I see these patterns in my home country?

Easter is coming!

2008-03-19T19:18:00.002-04:00

Hi!

Not much to say, other than I am quite excited for my weekend! At the same time, I am counting my days to Pittsburgh. I will be sad because my close friends will not be there, so I don't know what I will do when I feel bored or lonely.
I've just sent two e-mails to my close professors, to let them know my plan for Fall. It is my fortunate to know them in person. :)

Last weekend, I happened to think what my parent will react, if I tell them that I'm not going back this summer. I'll just stay in the United States until at the end of this year, then reapply my student visa on December or January 2009. I know it's risky to do that, but the situation that happens at home right now is not good. I don't know, but I probably will go home and deal w/ the situation.

What else?? Today's weather is nice, and I cross my fingers that no more snow.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care!

Not again!

2008-03-14T11:14:00.004-04:00

Last night, I did an intake for new client (parent placement) and was put in a situation where Mom and Dad weren't on the same page. I wanted to be a neutral person, so I tried my best to respond Dad's complaint, and at the same time, I wanted to respect Mom's decision, too. I finally could end the conversation w/ Dad, and I had to update my co-worker while I finished logging within short amount of time. My roommate was in the parking lot, waited for me, and I didn't want her to wait long. After that, I told myself that I needed to consult w/ my supervisor when she is in the office.

I thought I could go to bed right away, but I didn't because my Mom called me. Well, She texted me, asked if I was available, and I knew that something not right happened, so I led her to call me. We then talked for about 25 minutes, and she ended the phone because my aunt called her. It wasn't a good conversation. I felt overwhelmed throughout the conversation, didn't want to listen, but I had to. She texted me again after she finished talking w/ her sister, and I replied her SMS. She didn't respond after all, and she probably wasn't satisfied w/ my response. Well, I'll see what she is going to say when she calls me this weekend.

Despite all issues I faced both from my own family and client's family, I got pretty good news from one of the graduate schools I applied last time. I submitted my application for COlumbia University School of SOcial WOrk, but I didn't want to submit my latest TOEFL score, so I thought they would drop my application. Last night, I checked my e-mail and saw an e-mail from Columbia. I expected to see "We regret to inform you..." instead, I read "Congratulations, you've been accepted at..."
That was unbelieveable because they finally evaluated my essay, even though I didn't turn in my TOEFL score. I understand that Columbia is a prestigious university, but I am not going to Columbia because they don't offer any scholarships for Master degree student, and the living cost plus tuition is VERY expensive. I can't afford it,and I can't imagine that I am staying in New York. Thus, I will just let that good news sit nicely. I am still happy though! I learn that I have good qualities. this letter will motivate me to keep moving forward, to not give up. I will tell my professors once I heard news from Univ of Chicago. I don't tell my mom because I don't think she is interested in hearing that I am accepted at Columbia University.

Marchhh....

2008-03-12T17:00:00.002-04:00

Hello again!

I am quite happy with the weather,,,, 54F for 2 days in a row. :)
However, I am getting nervous as March will end in 2 weeks because I am not ready to move to Pittsburgh. I don't know how my days look like in Pittsburgh. No best friends, and everything is new! I've been decided that I am going to Pittsburgh for graduate school, even though Washington Univ in St. Louis accepted me, too. Not sure w/ the Univ. of Chicago, but let's forget about that.

In regard to my current job, I have been spending less time in shelter lately. I didn't work full 12 hrs on Saturday last week, and I would continue to do it until next week. I'll take 4 days off next month because I'm going back to Pittsburgh for 7days, so you can tell that I am gone for a while.. I'll turn in my resignation in mid April, and this is going to be the tough one because I love my workplace, but I am stuck w/ my working permit and moving stuff.

Well, that's all I have at this point. My brain has been filled w/ moving-related-topics like, searching for apartment, closing/opening bank account, booking for an airplane ticket, waiting for new I-20, applying for new student visa, and worrying about home.

Syndrome...

2008-02-29T10:30:00.003-05:00

UUurrgggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lately want to leave my shift as early as I can, and this becomes my current syndrome every time I come to work. I don't know why, but I just want to go home 2-3 hrs earlier from my original schedule. The funny thing is that I don't want to take the whole day off!!

I also try at best to squeeze my schedule so that I can visit my girl friend's place. I couldn't go to her place for various reasons, like work-school schedule, snow storm, and other little things. I am counting my days beginning March 1, and it makes me upset if I can't spend some times w/ her and her boyfriend. I will be busy moving and doing things related to my grad school in the next 2 months. @_@

News for grad school??
I got another acceptance letter from Washington University in St. Louis. They sent the acceptance letter online, and I closed my eyes right before the screen popped up. :P
However, I place my decision to Pittsburgh (at this time), but I may change my mind.. I haven't heard anything from Univ of Chicago, so we will see...

Pittsburgh is a complicated place for me. :) I chose to move to this city long before I graduated from ISU. I planned to get a job there, so I applied for residential treatment as well as hotel jobs in Pittsburgh. I chose this particular city for a funny reason that I couldn't share w/ you. Things happened from that time until after I graduated from ISU. I decided to go to grad school on Nov 2007 and relied on US News report grad school magazine as a resource to apply for schools. Univ of Pittsburgh is shown on the top 20 best social work graduate program, and I thought it was a perfect match. :)
Next, you know what's going on after that... :)

I don't know what I am doing...
People say that I am a strong girl, very brave, despite the fact that I like to share my worries to my co-workers and best friends. I am truly a complicated person.. hahaha...
SOme of them also say that I will be a good mom. I guess it has to do w/ my current job...

see Yaa.. I will get ready for work.

^_^

Saddd...

2008-02-24T23:40:00.002-05:00

I am really sad right now.
I don't know how I should explain it.
For sure, it has nothing to do w/ school or work.
It's complicated, and I am scared.

I've got a mail!

2008-02-23T06:34:00.003-05:00

^_^ finally, the mail I've been waiting for a week arrived in my mailbox yesterday.
It's from the University of Pittsburgh, and it's all about scholarship stuff. They give me a scholarship plus stipend w/ a condition that I have to maintain at least 3.00 GPA by the end of academic year, earn at least B for required courses and S for field placement, and take at least 15 credits per semester. If I can maintain all of those conditions, they will keep my scholarship and stipend for another year.

I am satisfied w/ the amount of money they give it to me, but I am a little bit nervous w/ the requirements. I know my abilities well, but I am still scared because this time, I talk about graduate program, not undergraduate. The school itself is a reputable university, and their social work program was listed on the "US News,World& Report" top graduate schools. @_@ I couldn't sleep last night because of that mixed feelings, despite the fact that I wanted to sleep so badly. :(

Today, I work morning, during super chores,so I should be at home by 1:30pm. I am tempted to take the whole day off, but I dropped my thought. I'll back to Pittsburgh on April, and I probably will take 3 days off in a row,so I want to make sure that I have plenty workload hours to cover those 3 absent days.

Did I tell you that I had trainings, two days in a row from 9-4pm and went to work until 11pm? The training was about de-escalation, restraint, and healthy positive relationships. Yesterday, we learned how to restraint people in the safe and appropriate ways. The funny part was I asked the instructor what happened if I have issues w/ touching. It's okay if people touch my shoulder and elbow, but I'll shock or feel not comfortable when they touch my hip. The instructor said I had to do it because I had to pass the practice exam for my certification. :(
Luckily, I had two co-workers attended the training w/ me, so I practiced w/ them.
I'll miss all trainings when I leave my job by the end of April... They offered good trainings, and these trainings benefited me.

I've got to get ready for work,,,
Thanks and Happy Saturday!

p.s. my roommate is kind of excited today because we may go somewhere for fun. Her best friend is out of town, and she has nothing to do. Fortunately, I take half-day off, so we can do something. If time allows, I'll stop by at my girl friend's apartment this evening. I'll surprise her. :)

Tick..Tick..tiCking...

2008-02-20T17:59:00.003-05:00

February will end soon, and I only have two months left before I move to another state. I'll be sad because I have to leave both my best friends and workplace. On the other hand, I'm excited to start my journey in a different city 6 mths from now. Pittsburgh seems to be the city I'm going to at this moment, but I don't know if I change my mind.

My roommate mentioned something on Sunday, and her comments really hit me. She said that it seemed to her that I wasn't really an outgoing person, and I enjoyed to do things by myself. However, she then stated that it was probably my work schedule that limited my abilities to hang out w/ friends on weekend. Sunday is not the best day to hang out w/ friends considering that most of them are in school, so Sunday is a time for them to finish homework and projects. I admit that I'm not very talkative in public, especially if I don't know the people well, and it seems that I tend to have a few friend w/ longer commitment. What I try to say is that I am able to keep my friendship w/ them for a long period of time.
The most common comment I hear from my friend is that I am a thoughtful person. Hahaha... I don't know why, but this is what most of them tell me..

Anyway, I will take half day off this upcoming Saturday, so I am hoping to use my spare time to mingle w/ my friends. I was able to meet some of them on Sunday after church, and another one on Monday night. It was short, but that was good enough for me. I could eat w/ them, go to grocery store together, and chat w/ them. I got a lovely hug from some of them, too, and those hugs meant so much for me. Hehehe..

Ok, I've got to go...

Mail...Mail...Mail...

2008-02-19T16:03:00.003-05:00

I've been constantly checking my mailbox for past three days and would be upset if I didn't see anything in my mailbox. I'm waiting for letters from three universities w/ two different reasons. I want to know whether I am accepted at the Univ of Chicago or not, and this applies to my application at the Washington Univ, too. I also wait for my scholarship letter from the Univ of Pittsburgh to ensure that I heard the news correctly.

I was excited to see a USPS car outside my apartment building, but was dissapointed when I didn't see a letter from any universities. I got something, but it had nothing to do w/ universities. People may think that Univ of Pittsburgh gives me quick response, but it's actually not. My application was marked as "early consideration" w/ Jan 1 as the due date, and I really wanted to go to Univ of Pittsburgh at that time, so I rushed my references to catch the dateline. It took about two weeks for them to evaluate my essay, transcript, and resume, but it took a longer time to decide whether you are eligible for scholarship or not.

On the other hand, other universities like Univ of Chicago and Washington, take nearly 7-8 weeks to evaluate everything, but they will give you both the acceptance and scholarship notifications at the same time. At the end, the wait-time for Univ of Pittsburgh is about the same w/ the wait-time for other universities. I guess I'll wait and keep checking my mailbox...

@_@

Hate Snow!!

2008-02-17T17:24:00.006-05:00

Today's weather was really bad. We had a heavy snow blizzard w/ 2-3inches of snow...
Spring, please come ASAP!!! I am enough w/ snow..

Despite of the unfriendly weather we had this morning, I still managed to go to church and ate lunch w/ my friends. We went to Dublin Bay, an Irish restaurant which is located on East side of Ames. I've never visited the place before, thus, this place was totally new for me. I ordered a Crabcake Benedict (brunch menu), and it consisted of two english muffins topped w/ crabcakes and poached eggs. In addition to that, I got 1 slice of soda bread and potatoes. We then ordered a dessert (ice cream) w/ coffee flavors, served w/ whipped topping, chocolate syrup, and oreo cookies. Nice dessert w/ perfect portion because we shared the ice cream. :)

Good day overall.

I get to go.. I am dizzy now.. urgh..

BluE ThuRsdAy

2008-02-15T09:55:00.005-05:00

HellO, and Happy 'late' Valentine!

My agenda on Valentine's day:
- African American Culture training 9-12:15pm
- Work until 11 pm,spend my times w/ my thirteen-years-old client before he leaves for foster care this morning.
- Clean intake office, do other household tasks in shelter, and chat w/ my colleagues.
-Overall, I have 14 hrs of work on Valentine's day. :)

We only have 2 clients in shelter, and this number will reduce to one after 2 pm on Friday. This is the first time in our history that we only have 2 clients in shelter, and we assumme that it has to do w/ the Department of Human Services (DHS)' new policy. There is a rumor that DHS tries to avoid shelter and wants to put kids/adolescents to foster care system. As I told you earlier, our shelter is a temporary placement for kids and adolescents before they are sent to their residential treatment program. DHS eventually wants to save money by sending kids to foster care system instead of treatment services.

Our director and CEO are currently working on this issue w/ the legislation to save our shelter. They told staff during meeting on Wednesday that shelter won't be closed, and they've never thought about that. I am hoping that we can get at least parent placement kids over the weekend.Anyway, I will let them (YSS CEO+ RDS director) to work on that legal part, and I hope they will bring a good news for us.

My younger client insisted that I had to go shoveling w/ him yesterday afternoon. FYI, the weather was cold, windy, and snowing!! I decided to accompany him and use my time to play w/ the snow. My client saw me, and he told me that I cracked him up, funny. :P
I wanted to spend my times w/ him as much as I could since he will be going to foster care on Friday (2/15). I am going to miss him regardless of his bad outburst and swing mood, in which these behaviors will trigger him to tear the house apart.

@_@

2008-02-13T20:06:00.006-05:00

We lose reliance on our own wills and learn to behave in ways that are perhaps foreign to our wild selves, but we get the hand of the living God who promises never to burden us w/ any weight we cannot handle. (Steve Givens)

I've been reading "Living Faith" for almost a year as a way to keep my sanity. It is kind of a reflection book, in which every reading is connected to the Bible. I was stressed out w/ job hunting and family issue after my graduation until I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Everything seemed to be wrong, and I ended up crying almost every night.
At the end, I realize that studying in the United States makes me closer to God.

So, what's the point I mention all of those stories?
I need an answer, but I can't find it. I am afraid to make a decision because I am afraid that I will fail again. I am standing in intersection with "school" on my left side and "work" on my right side. I have to choose which universities I will go, and I can't deny that I wonder how my interview w/ Hyatt goes. It is true that I want to keep working w/ children, youths, and family, but I also want to know whether I pass the interview or not.
The dateline for Univ of Pittsburgh is Friday (Feb 16), and they will drop my application if I don't pay the deposit fee. I won't get the scholarship notification until next week. On the other hand, the univ of Chicago won't announce both the acceptance and scholarship notifications until early March. My time is ticking, and I need to move on and think fast.
Another consideration is that I am responsible to every action I make. It involves money in some way, and I want to ensure that I use my money wisely.

I finally sent the acceptance form w/ the deposit check to Univ of Pittsburgh before I went to staff meeting this morning. I will just figure out later, if I decide to go for something else.

After Trips-

2008-02-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

Hello again!

My four days getaways ended this morning at Des Moines Intl Airport. I woke up at 4 am to get ready for my 6 am flight. The bad thing is that tomorrow is my turn to work until 11pm T_T, and I'm not happy about that.

How should I say about my getaways?
I enjoyed my adventurous trips to Pittsburgh and Chicago, even though my first flight on Friday (12/8) was delayed which led me to miss the next flight, and I finally had to reschedule my interview. I was supposed to be there by 2 pm, but I ended up having my interview at 4:15pm. The interview lasted for 1.5 hrs, and I went to hotel right away, which took another 40 minutes.

Pittsburgh has a lot of (very) old Victorian style buildings w/ mountainous landscape. The easy way to picturize Pittsburgh in your mind is by combining San Francisco and Rome (or other related European countries). Oakland is known as the university area, and the university buildings are scattered accross the area. CMU(Carnegie Mellon Univ) is in Oakland, too. They have pretty good public transportation, so I am happy about that. By the way, I almost lost in downtown because I couldn't find the right bus stop to go back to Oakland.

I kept asking myself what I really want throughout my stay in Pittsburgh. My interview w/ Hyatt Regency went pretty well, and they'd already known about my status. However, I don't think they know that my OPT will last soon :P.
The director asked if I liked Pittsburgh or not, and I couldn't answer it because I have never been to Pittsburgh before. He told me that he wanted to make sure that I had perfect balance between work and personal life. Hahaha... funny.

Let's move to Chicago part..
Special thanks to my college friends because I could stay in their apartment for 2 nights. The univ of Chicago is located on down south of Chicago, while their apartment is on north side. :)
I only visited the School of Social Service building due to cold weather. The architecture of the buildings is similar to the one here at ISU. This time, I got the opportunity to sit in the class for 1.5 hrs, a plus experience, I guess. The sad thing is that I won't get the result until early March. It takes 6-8wks for them to evaluate my statement and everything, while the Univ of Pittsburgh only takes 1 week to evaluate my statement. Moreover, I need to turn in the deposit fee for Pittsburgh by the end of this week, and I haven't done it..

I really don't know which school I should go. Both of them are good universities. I have friends in Chicago, so I should be okay if I move there. On the other hand, I don't know anyone in Pittsburgh, so I have to move and do everything by myself. My roommate suggests me to move to Pittsburgh after I shared my stories and showed her couple maps and brochures.

OOh...
I don't know what I should do..

Histeric Client---

2008-02-04T20:39:00.000-05:00

Again, one of my clients screamed in front of me just because we (staff) didn't give her a razor. Her behaviors were HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!
She yelled, cursed, and all things you could name. I didn't watch my tone when I spoke w/ her, and I didn't care because she was out of control. I told her that whatever she did, I wouldn't grant her wishes. Last night, she broke our phone, purposely dumped water on floor, and cursed at anyone in the house. Once she was out from shower, she started to argue again because I didn't give her a pair of sock that she liked. She wanted the ankle one, but I gave her the long sock, and I insisted that she had to wear one because the weather was cold. I told her that she could fold the sock, and it would be okay. I convinced her that it would take less than a minute to do it, and she agreed. She suddenly was able to calm herself, and I finally could talk to her w/o having her yelled back at me.

I told her that her behaviors were not acceptable. She claimed that her friends didn't respect her, and I said it was because she didn't respect herself. I convinced her that people would treat her nice, if she acted nicely too. She then said I reminded her of her mom. Her mom used to say the same thing, so I told her that she should do what her mom asked her to do.

Anyway, it was a long morning. The house environment wasn't good, and all clients knew that. I don't know what she is going to do tonight, but I hope she won't make any trouble. No wonder my headache is coming back.

That's all I have for today.

*_*

aargh...

2008-01-30T21:55:00.000-05:00

Have you ever dealt w/ mental retarded kids or any kids who have serious behavioral issues?
Can you imagine that no matter how hard you try to explain, this kid won't get it?

I am currently dealing w/ a thirteen yrs old boy who has a five yrs old's mental capabilities. He is physically fine, but you will notice that something wrong w/ him when you talk to him. This boy'll get frustated easily and is very sensitive. He demands one-on-one attention, and you won't be able to multitask when he is around you.
The hardest part is that you can't scream and tell him that he is stupid or idiot because it will tear him apart. You also can't tell other clients that he is DIFFERENT from other normal kids in his age because of privacy issue.

Ooohhhh.............
The saddest part is his parents don't want him to come home. :(

Not Sure Where I am going---

2008-01-21T19:04:00.000-05:00

I am done w/ both the graduate school applications and Golden Key Scholarship submissions. Mid-February is the earliest time I'll get the result, while the GK scholarship won't be announced until July 2008.

Now, in the middle of submitting grad school applications, I got an e-mail from Hyatt Regency Pittsburgh about their internship program (8-12 mths). I almost forgot that I happened to send a lot of applications within Hyatt properties, and I couldn't count how many times they rejected my applications. This time, they actually want to interview me for internship position, and I decide to accept their invitation. I have one full-time job in my hand, so it's not going to hurt me if they don't want to take me. I also want to know how far I can move in terms of the selection process because I haven't done any interviews for past 5 mths. :)

Thus, the phone interview is scheduled this morning, Jan 21 between 10-noon. I ended up half sleepy because I didn't know when they would call me. I thought the HR coordinator would interview me, but it was the Director of Room Operations who called me. He basically explained the program, asked me if I had any preferences (F&Bs or Rooms), and few questions like how I dealt w/ difficult customers. It seems to me that he wants me to know everything in front before he moves to the actual interview. I also asked him if there's any second interview (if I am passed the firs one) and he said yes. He definitely wants to meet and talk to me in person before he makes a decision. Not sure how, but I ended up making a "deal" w/ him before he ended the interview.

The "deal" is that I'm going to meet him on Feb 8 at 2 PM at Hyatt Regency after I told him that I would go to Pittsburgh on February, and if possible, I would like to visit Hyatt Regency. He was curious w/ the purpose of my trip to Pittsburgh, so he asked if I would have any interviews or whatever. I then told him that I would attend the info session at Univ of Pittsburgh on Saturday (Feb 9), and he didn't know that I haven't done any job searchings for a long time. :P

I suddenly feel that my future is not clear again. At the same time, I recognize that God has his own way for me, and I don't know where he will take me. Everything happens so quick that I don't have time to pause or rewind that particular scene. The same thing happened when I moved to a new apartment w/ Syl 7 mths ago. I didn't know where I would go, a little bit hesitated to move to Chicago right away w/ no job offer on hand, and Syl suddenly found a place for both of us. I was thinking to go to culinary school or grad school for Spring 2008, but I got a job offer from shelter. Those life scene happened outside my original plan. I, of course, thanked God for his kindness to me. I also thank him for my days at shelter, my co-workers who spoil me, and the social supports that I received from my professors as well as my best friends here in Ames. My parents' prayers also contribute to what I've been achieved until this time.

My time is ticking, four months from now, my OPT is expired. I will have to leave the United States by July 6, 08. I plan to go home, organize my new bedroom, celebrate my birthday at home, reapply visa for grad school, and etc. Again, I plan everythig in detail, but it seems that I am going to screw up my original plan w/ Hyatt stuff.
Let see how my meeting w/ Hyatt Pittsburgh goes. I can't say much at this time, but I can't deny that I am nervous again.

Okay, that's all I have.
See yaa,,

Hectic time--

2008-01-14T16:51:00.000-05:00

I've just paid my graduation application fee for Univ of Chicago.
I finally made it after chasing my references to submit their recommendation letter and finishing all required essays for past two weeks. It was crazy and almost thought that I wouldn't make it. I then called the university admission department to check if they got everything they needed, and they told me that they haven't made a file for me because I've just paid my application fee today. They advised me to call back by the end of this week, but the dateline is tomorrow.. Hahaha... I don't know how this will go.

I originally didn't intend to apply at Univ of Chicago, but I changed my mind because Chicago would be a great place to work w/ youths and families from different cultures. Thus, I will be able to get in touch w/ different organizations for future practicums or related internship easily. Another consideration is the location that allows me to travel to Ames and convenient international flight.
My best friends and shelter(work place) are still in Ames, so I definitely want to visit them if I have time. I also have couple college friends who currently reside in Chicago, so I can ask them to help me for apartment and other stuff that I don't know.

I will go to Pittsburgh on Feb 8-Feb 10 to attend information session on Feb 9 (Saturday). They have same date and time w/ University of Chicago for info session, but I'll go for Univ of Pittsburgh first and ask for individual visit for Chicago.
I guess I will travel alone this time, but it should be fun. :)
I choose Pittsburgh for personal reason. :) The university is not that bad, their social work program is ranked #16 (US News & Report, while Univ of Chicago is ranked #5.. hahahaha...
However, I probably can graduate w/ distinction or even cumlaude, if I go for Pittsburgh because the ave GPA is 3.5. :)
I guess, I will have to wait the final result. I've been asking God to show me which road He wants me to go. If the final answer is to go home, I will go home-means Indo. It will be hard, but I understand His choice will be the best one. :)

Ok...
talk to you later..

-W-

FIshy...fishy....

2008-01-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

I got a fish from my colleague on Saturday. She provided me w/ the jar, fish food, and decoration, in addition to the fish. I thought she brought fish for shelter because she likes to bring stuff for kids. It turned out she brought that fish for me because she thought I wouldn't be so lonely if I had fish at home. She also mentioned that she almost bought a puppy for me...
hahahaha...

Unfortunately, the fish was a little bit sick when my colleague transferred him to the jar. I went home early on Saturday night, so I asked my best friends to help me w/ the fish. She taught me how to change the water, put aquasafe, and etc. She concerned w/ the fish because it looked like he would die in 5 minutes. hahaha...
Anyway, the fish is really died on Sunday morning. :(
My colleague told me that I could return it to the store and got a new fish. I agreed due to she had a thoughtful gift idea for me.. so I should try to have a fish..

What else??
Oh, I went to a Korean store near CubFood w/ my friends and was excited because I found green tea mochi ice cream. I then picked that stuff w/o second thought, but the owner told me that I couldn't buy that mochi ice cream. She told me that the ice cream wasn't in a good condition, not safe to be eaten, and she wasn't sure when she would get new mochi ice cream again...
huhuhuhuhu....

I guess that's all I have for now..
I may continue to write some other stories later today...

Super Early Morning...

2008-01-03T01:43:00.000-05:00

I couldn't sleep.
I have been thinking about stuff, ranging from work to personal life.
Finally, I decided to turn my bedroom's light on again because my brain wouldn't let me to get a rest.

By the way, I made my day at shelter. My colleague knew that I didn't look forward to working, so she told my other colleagues about that. I was surprised that my day manager was investigating on some issues after part-time staff told him that she heard two male clients talked how they weren't happy w/ my shelter. I think I will have an interesting staff meeting next week (if my day manager brings that particular issues to the meeting). I had a little chat w/ him before he left for home. He had a vacation last week, so he stayed late to catch up everything. I then mentioned to him that this was the first time I didn't want to go to work. I told him that I didn't have that feeling before. He told me that he used to have that kind of feelings long time ago.

He then asked how my Christmas went. I told him that I didn't have a good Christmas, which was true. I cried a lot prior to CHristmas, and I even cried the whole day one day after Christmas. My roommate left for good, my Mom called me, and it was a bad phone call. I couldn't help it, cried on the way home. I was pretending that everything was fine, hid it from my friends so that they didn't know how terrible I was. He felt sorry to me, and I thanked him for his time.

Okay, back to shelter... I was fortunate enough that kids weren't that bad tonight. I was really quiet,hesitated to initiate a conversation w/ them, but we had a little chat after that. I was praying that everything would be fine for the rest of the week. **cross fingers**

I also chatted w/ our night manager before I left for home, asked if it was true that he applied for grad school. He told me that he applied several universities in California. I was surprised when he told me that he was going to social work, too. I thought he would go for psychology, since he had a background in Psych. I then told him that I applied for social work program, but I was spreading my applications from midwest to east coast. :)
He told me that he would leave our shelter at the end of Summer, while I would leave shelter around late April. I was kind of worried w/ my supervisor. I hope she could find good candidates to take our spots (night manager and Youth Specialist-reg)

Well,,, I guess I will have to sleep...
I need to work again tomorrow...
I still don't want to go there, but I have lots of things that need to be done.

-W-

2 hours to my work shift--

2008-01-02T13:59:00.000-05:00

I complain a lot about my clients at shelter, but I seldom say that I don't want to go to work. This time, I am not in a good mood to go to work, and I really don't want to go there. Funny, unbelievable I guess..

Unfortunately, I need more work hours, so that I can get a time-off. What I mean is I plan to visit up to 3 cities next month, so I have to make sure that I have enough hours to make my holiday. I plan to visit Pittsburgh, New York (if possible), and Chicago from Feb 9-12. That means I need to take a whole day off on Saturday, and I have to make sure that I save a lot of hours during the month of January.
The problem is I am so tempting to take half day off this upcoming Saturday, but I think I shouldn't do that.

Okay, enough for my work and holiday issues. Let's talk about a surprise SMS from my old friend that I got this morning.
My old friend from Singapore sent me messages, asked my opinion about her wedding plan. I don't know why she asks me, but I have to reply her SMS because I am sure she is waiting for my response.
She is a Malaysian who is working in S'pore. I met her when I did my 3 mths training at Le Meridien Hotel, S'pore. Her boyfriend is a Balinese, and they have been dating for about 3.5 years. Her boyfriend used to be a hospitality student like me, and he did a 6 mth training in one of the restaurants in S'pore. They met and have been doing a long distance relationship for about 2 or 3 years. My friend has visited him in Bali couple times, and recently her boyfriend asked her to get married.

It seems that her boyfriend wants her to move to Bali, and this means she needs to change her nationality from Malaysian to Indonesia. Her boyfriend is currently jobless, but he has a new home in Bali. Weird...
Her brother didn't approve her relationship due to different nationality, lack of financial support, and other related issues. Thus, she asked my opinion, or at least, she expected me to give another perspective.

I advised her to postpone her wedding plan for another year. I told her that she and her boyfriend need to save money first, before they get married and have kids. I also informed her that the living expenses in Bali are quite high, so she needs to have at least extra savings for her own life. She hasn't replied my SMS yet, but I hope she could make a wise decision.

I am currently enjoying my single life, but I've been starting to have my own saving account since my senior year at Iowa State because I want to have my own condo ^_^. I felt regret though, because I could have a lot of $$ on my account if I started early. :P

Anyway, I wish her luck, and I have to get ready..

Ciao..

Merry "late" Christmas

2007-12-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

It has been a while..
I can't believe that the year of 2007 will end pretty soon. :( Following is the highlight of 2007:
* my graduation
* stressfull job hunting
* my sister..
* my parents...
* apartment searching
* transition from PRN to Youth Specialist
* my work partner left me 2 weeks after I worked as a specialist
* my stressful job, difficult time at shelter for 1 month
* Graduate school applications
* my annual staff party
* my last Christmas eve w/ my lovely friends.
* my last Christmas dinner w/ our host parents here in Ames
* my "blue" day- the day after X'mas-due to family problem and my roommate's departure
* I try to be a strong,tough person, but I find it is hard just to be a strong girl.

My wishes for the year of 2008:
I want to be a successfull graduate student,this time, I will graduate w/ honor, not with a distinction. **cross fingers**
I will keep working w/ youths and families
I will keep myself as busy as I can
I want to find a hole, where I can keep all my secrets. I am hoping that this hole can accommodate things that I can't share w/ anyone.

Hello AgaIn!

2007-11-06T11:39:00.000-05:00

Hey!

Nothing new...
I still busy work w/ my kids and try to do my job as best as I can.
Thanksgiving is coming soon...and then December,,, Christmas,,,
Time goes so fast..
I can't believe...

My 1st week as a specialist...

2007-10-07T16:47:00.000-04:00

Congratulations!
I've just passed my first week, working as a youth specialist.
Just to let you know, this position is way difficult, not as easy as my previous positions (relief worker and temp. cook).

I am praying that I can survive w/ this type of working environment until May 08. **Sigh**
We had a horrible days at shelter that couldn't be described in words. Fortunately, I'll have a long "weekend" and will use this weekend to pamper myself..

Daag,,,

-M-

Ehhmm

2007-09-30T20:40:00.000-04:00

I find a person who wants to share an apartment with me. Unfortunately, my next housemate is a male, but I know him since we like to hang out together every weekend. He is doing co-op in Cedar Rapids right now, but he will back to school on January 2008 and need a living place.
I feel good because I can save at least $300 both for rent and utilities costs. I know it is a little bit weird, but my goal is to save money. Hehehe...

My current housemate will back to Ames next Tuesday. I know this weekend is a big day for her family, so I pray for her that everything goes well. I will miss her when she leaves for Jakarta at the end of this year. :(

OOh, I had a dinner with my ex college friend yesterday. We ate Italian food, and I loved it. Right before I left her car, she gave me a scarf from Bolivia as a birthday gift. :) I felt sad that I had to work last night, and it was a tough night for me at shelter. I couldn't sleep well after that because things didn't go right, and once again, I was failed. I accidentally opened my daily prayer book this morning, read one prayer, and the words on that particular prayer reminded me of why I chose to come to shelter. So, I said to myself that I would try once again. I don't want to be defeated. I want to show my best effort until at the end of my contract.

bla..bla..bla...

2007-09-28T11:54:00.000-04:00

Hoh..

For some reason, I really want to attend my friend's wedding on November. However, I can't go home....
*sigh..
I don't have any specific topic to write on.. so, please excuse me, if you find today's blog is kind of unstructured.

I haven't found a person who wants to be my housemate. Therefore, I need to save a lot of money to cover the apartment fee. :(

Oh, I cut my hair two days ago. My hair is short now, and I like it!

How's my shelter?
One girl is leaving this morning,so I wish her luck w/ her new placement.
Last night we had one boy who made a lot of trouble. We couldn't control him, and as a result, we couldn't let him go to elevate meeting in YSS main office. He was upset and threw his tantrum to us. We led him alone, so he asked if he could sit in the office. We said yes to him. Surprisingly, he was able to calm himself by chatting with us. He liked Tokyo Drift movie, and I said that I liked that movie, too. He mentioned that he wished he could go to Tokyo. We chatted about places we would like to go when we have a lot of money. My partner said that she wanted to go to Bahama, or a place that allows her to do water sport (I can't remember the name..).
I then told them that I wanted to go to French, Europe, eat various dessert and drink coffee. hahahahaha...
I then shared my high school stories, told them the manner that I had to use when I talked or met older people. Now, my partner and I know how to handle this particular boy. We will just let him alone for a while, in hoping that he will let his anger down.

We also expect another boy to leave shelter soon. He teaches his peers to not comply w/ staff. He basically tries to get his peers in trouble. He will have last evaluation next monday and we hope that he would go to another placement soon.

I am still learning w/ the whole situation. I borrow several books from public library to help me handle moody-troubled-youths. I had read a book about the life story of four troubled youths who were sent to a therapeutic school in Massachusets. I learn how the counselors handle these youths and what situation they encountered throughout the program. I was able to relate the reading with my own workplace because we experienced the same issues, too.

Now, I have three books in my hand. One is about how to cope when you live in a dysfuntional family, and the next one is a book about how adolescents fall to drugs, and the last one is a book to prevent adolescents from committing suicide. I know that these three books equal to reading assignments back when I was in college. However, I need to learn as I will hold a new role. My role is not easy considering that I only have seven months experience in this field and language barrier. As I mentioned last time, youths that come to shelter are from various background. Each of them speaks in different accent, and I need to adjust myself w/ their language styles. They also have to familiarize themselves w/ my accent, so that takes time, too.

Okay, I better to get going..
I work today..
see ya..

Trying to solve my problems..

2007-09-26T10:30:00.000-04:00

I get one day off, so I use this time to take care of my apartment lease. As I mentioned long time ago, I was planned to leave US on December, but the plan was changed. I got a job offer last week from shelter where I work, which means I will have to stay up till May 2008.

The property sent us a renewal contract, and they offered 5 mths to 12 mths lease. I decide to take 5 mths lease ($600/mth) by myself because I don't want to move again, and the rent cost is roughly same. I'll just have to use my money wisely from Jan-May 08. *SIgh... At least, I solve half of my problem.

Anyway, yesterday was my last morning shift since my kitchen manager has come back already. My full-time position will start on next Wednesday, Oct 3, but this week I fill some of the hours (Thursday-3-7pm; Friday-1-6pm; Saturday-??)I am half excited, half nervous carry out a new role as a youth specialist. For sure, I don't want to dissapoint both my coordinator and director since they are so kind to me. I also don't want to distress my partner, and fortunately I have known her for a while..

I feel relieved after all. I don't need to do job hunting, or I should say job-hotel-hunting because I have one in my hand. The next plan is to work hard and continue finishing my grad essays. I have one essay done and still need to finish one more. I can't predict what will happen to my life after May 08, but I look forward to going home for break. I do need a break and want to meet my old high school friends. :)

I guess, I will do these things if I can go back to Indonesia next summer:
1. rearrange my new bedroom. (yes, I have my new bedroom, but my mom still use the old furniture.. that's fine with me)
2. see other parts of the house like kitchen, living room, my sister's room, and etc.
3. cut my hair
4. call my high school friends
5. go to my elementary school. This time I have to go there
6. go to my high school.
7. eat my yummy traditional food (I like to eat food that use glutinous rice)
8. visit my English teacher
9. ask my parents if they allow me to take a vacation
10. go to facial treatment

hahahaha... that's way too much...
Okay..
I have things to do..

See yaa..

Blessing-

2007-09-21T19:19:00.000-04:00

I can't describe how I feel when they offer me a full-time position. I reassure myself that this is it. This is the field that God wants me to work on. There's nothing wrong, and I am doing good. I don't know how many times I try to convince myself that I am all right, that I get what I want at last. Still, I feel weird w/ the news they told me on Wed morning.

This is unbelievable. I tell them that I only can work until May 6, 2008, tell them that I rely on bus schedule, and tell them that I haven't taken my license test yet. They accept my condition without complaint. I don't know how I should thank them for all the opportunities they give to me. I won't forget this moment... I will show my best effort to them, dedicate myself to help youths and carry out shelter's missions.
I understand that I'll have to find a new living place beginning January 2008. I know that I won't be able to hang out w/ my friends on Friday and Saturday, not until midnight I guess.. Huh..
The good thing is I am off on Sunday-Mon-Tuesday. That means I still can go to church on SUnday. Yay! I love it.
I probably will spend my Thanksgiving dinner w/ my kids. I'll be fine. I'll make turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie for them. I'll celebrate my Thanksgiving dinner w/ them.

I'll need to learn all game boards since I will spend more times with them...

Confused-Tired

2007-09-20T22:09:00.000-04:00

Things didn't go well as I expected today. I felt that I made a lot of mistakes, got angry easily, and couldn't finish my works.

I planned to leave at 2:45 pm today so that I could go home and take a short nap before I went to church. Shelter needed me to stay until 4:30pm, and I knew that I had to stay because some staff were gone for training.

The maintenance fixed the racks so they removed the food items out from pantry. About 2:30pm, the maintenance came and said that they planned to put the rack back to the pantry, but they saw that we haven't cleaned the floor yet. I was in the middle of med counting and decided to stop because I would need to clean the floor soon. One intern came and helped me scrubbing the tough stain, but I was still angry. I felt that Z (another staff) didn't do much to help me, and I couldn't finish my med count. The intern and I finally finished cleaning the floor. The maintenance came and put the rack back to the pantry. Next, I asked two clients to help me reorganize the pantry. :( I was tired by that time.

One boy rushed me to call his JCO, while I forgot the additional code number to make a long distance call. I then ran asked Z, but he thought I postponed his phone time. I happened to yell at him, but I was able to manage myself. I raised my voice a little bit when I explained to him that I had to ask questions to Z. However, he didn't want to understand my situation.

The above situation described my day's activity. let's move to my evening time...
About 8 pm, my friend called me, and he made me mad. He told me that he couldn't guarantee that ____ officers would be able to come. I was mad because he couldn't make a decision, while I demanded his action. I told him that I would take my own action and thanked him for his good concern.

Now, I am half sleepy, but I cannot sleep. Many things need to be done, but my brain can't cooperate well. I need a vacation, but I can't leave my job. I force my brain to think, plan, analyze, multitask, and make a decision at the same time. :(

:( :( :(
I am expecting to go home, but it seems that I won't be able to go home until next year. Why? I will tell you when everything is confirmed..

Almost crazy...

@_@

Thank You

2007-09-15T12:31:00.000-04:00

I am thankful for:

* my life that God has been given to me up to this point
* my supportive parent and sister
* education that I have been received for nearly 16 years
* all opportunities while I was studying at Iowa State Univ
* my experience at Le Meridien Hotel-Singapore
* my high school friends and teachers
* my lovely friends in Ames
* my professors at Iowa State
* my mentor, Paula
* my English teacher in Semarang, Mr. Subur
* my Mandarin teacher in Semarang
* HD FS 102 class
* my major that helps me to be a semi-professional chef for my friends and kids at shelter
* a youth shelter where I work now
* my current young clients at shelter
* my prog coordinator, day manager, youth specialists, and director that trust me to handle all works at shelter
* my current church here in Ames that help me to keep my faith and control my problem.

SicK

2007-09-10T19:13:00.000-04:00

OOhh...
I had a fever on Thursday night until Friday, then lost my voice over the weekend.
I still managed to come to work this morning because I thought my manager would freak out if I didn't come. It would be difficult to find someone who could work at 7 AM, so I decided to come.

My kids were surprised when they learned that I lost my voice, and one of them said that I should haven't come this morning. and could survive until 3 pm. One girl suggested me to drink a sprite or hot beverage like tea because it will cure the pain. **Sigh...**

September..........

2007-09-01T15:24:00.000-04:00

Hey!

Nothing special, nothing new other than I have to give my position back to the kitchen manager at the end of September..
:(

What else?
I made a chicken porridge this morning... so far so good
I plan to make a german chocolate cake for my friend tomorrow morning.
I have things that bother me so much, and I don't know how to solve it.

September reminds me of someone..
hahaha

HappY LabOr DaY!

-W-

My stupidity

2007-08-25T08:17:00.000-04:00

I thought I would cook an appetizer about two weeks ago, so I bought 2% milk carton(small size)because the recipe called for it. However, I cancelled my plan because we had lots of event during last two weeks, and this meant no one used or drank the milk. Therefore, the milk ended up in the garbage bin as I checked stuff in the fridge this morning. :(
I believe this is the second/third time I dump milk because I only use it for cooking/baking, and I am too lazy to drink the leftover. Hehehe...
I used to ask my friend to help me to drink the milk because she always drinks a glass of milk every morning and right before she goes to bed. Now, I don't stay in her apartment anymore, and my current house mate isn't a big fan of milk either. I know it such a waste to dump the whole milk carton, but the milk already expired and needed to be throwed away.

Let's move to my another stupid stuff...
I accidentally dropped one of my client's rash/itching pills when I poured the pills back to the bottle after med count. I couldn't find it, so I notified my specialist and wrote this incident both in the shift update and in the client's log ( the one who has that prescription). The total pills should be 58, and it has 57 pills now. :(
I felt really bad and mad due to my carelessness... Fortunately, I only missed one pill and it wasn't a psychotic drug, so I was 60% safe. This means, another client may not face a danger if, for some reason, they find it and take the pill. Yes, my clients (some of them) are very good in taking advantages of pills in order to get "high." They will use any pills, such as, pills for headache, flu, or stomachache, and drink those pills in huge amount until they get "high."

Last but not least, I removed the leftover food to container after we finished our lunch, and I didn't aware of what I did, but I heard one girl said, "Maria, just dump the pan, that was a disposable one.."
I then realized that I only dumped the food, but not the pan.. SHe laughed at me...

I do a lot of stupid things that I can't count anymore. Right before I took over a kitchen manager position, I prayed that my stupidity would not show up for at least 10 weeks (I still pray until now..). Otherwise, I would get in trouble as I did yesterday during the med count. My specialist convinced me that it would be fine because she also had same experience last time, but I guessed she tried to calm me a little bit.. Well, I will have to wait until Monday when my day manager reads the yesterday's shift update ** cross fingers**

Ok, that's all I have for now..

Have a fantastic weekend!

_m_

To Cook Means To Entertain

2007-08-22T21:09:00.000-04:00

I stayed in shelter until 3:45 PM today due to meal preparation. FYI, I am supposed to leave at 3 pm.

One of my co-worker will lead a Mexican Culture group tonight, and she ask if I can serve Mexican food. I then decided to make Enchilada and Southwestern Pasta Salad for them. It took about 1.5 hours to finish two meals plus one additional menu. :)
My co-workers asked how I got cooking skills, so I told them that I studied Hotel and Restaurant w/ a minor in CHild Family Services. I always emphasize my minor because they will wonder why I end up in this field instead of hotel/restaurant field.

As I said on the previous blog, I like my current position because I can cook and interact w/ my clients (adolescence). I also find a pleasure when I cook or bake. :) It helps me to forget my problem, and it is important for me to know whether they like the food or not. Overall, my friends are the best customers I ever had. They will eat any meals that I cook for them, even though the presentation sometimes is not good, they still love it. :)
Thus, I guess I cook to entertain someone else. Hihihihihi....

Some kids and my co-workers passed the kitchen several times to see what I was doing. I found a little bit uncomfortable when they watched me, and I would get distracted if kids walked between kitchen and bathroom because I would automatically check on them. One boy actually banged either his door or window so loud until it rang the central alarm. His room was on the back hallway, close to the kitchen, and I was wondering who did that, but I thought it was another kid who played games in the dining room. I then learned from my co-worker that it was him, and my co-worker said that I should have approached his room. Well, I was careless and felt sorry about that incident.

@@@@@

Mmm...

2007-08-18T11:00:00.000-04:00

I think aluminium foil hates me because my hands lately get a lot of scratches from foil. It hurts, and my hands look ugly...
Two weeks have been passed since the day I filled a kitchen manager position at shelter. The kids though liked my food, and they would pass me on the kitchen to check what food I cook for them. :)
They always pass on kitchen every time they go to the restroom, so they will stop by and see what I am doing.
One day my coordinator mentioned that they got a "bonus" from me because I got some quite-good cooking skills. She also offered me to lead a group about Indonesian culture in order to emphasize cultural diversity in shelter. I am honestly not sure w/ her idea, but she is excited and there's no way I can say no to her.

FYI, following is the hierarchy in my workplace (shelter):
1. Service DIrector --> she leads three facilities (shelter, male and female recovery houses). She visited our shelter almost every day last week. She is a fashionable lady (green shirt, green handbag,and peridot (bright green gemstone)jewelry). Last but not least, I like her perfume's fragrance for some reason. :)

2. Program COordinator --> she is the lady that I mentioned frequently in my previous blog. She is responsible for hiring full-time and part-time staff, signing any types of forms, and preparing legal paperwork. She seldom answers the incoming calls because staff must answer the phone, not her. I thought she only cared about paperwork, but she apparently played bingo w/ clients (kids) almost the entire day yesterday. It surprised me, but I liked it. :)

3. Day Manager--> he works 7-3 pm, but he works 6-2pm temporarily due to I cannot come at 6 am. He is responsible for day activities at shelter. He will move to the intake office (upstairs) every morning at 7 am to supervise clients' morning shower. He also gets in touch w/ social workers, attorneys, and medical appointment. He'll give updates to workers regarding their clients' behavior. That's the reason, we do log a lot because we'll summarize clients' progress based on the information showed on the log.

4. Kitchen Manager--> she works 6-2pm and prepares 3 meals (M-F), orders food and household items, keeps track on the nutrition guidelines. This is actually the position I am filling in. I will get a headache when the items from food bank and Sysco come because I have to fit all items in two freezers and cabinets. SHe also gets in touch w/ workers, but I am not doing this part because I don't really like it... I mean I have limited information about workers and their clients, so it'll take another hour to understand the situation.

5. YOuth Specialist Regular. RIght now, we have about 5 regular youth specialists. They are responsible for supervising clients, leading life skills group, counseling w/ clients (if needed), updating some news to workers/doctors, completing clients' file. The work hours (1pm-11pm and 3-11pm)

6. Night Hours Manager--> We have two night hours managers. This position is not hard (from my perception) because you only need to stay in the shelter the entire night, do bed check, prepare dishes for breakfast, complete shift updates, prepare new point sheets, and finish laundry. The bad thing is that you have to work from 11:30pm-9AM and 11:30pm-11:30am in between Friday and Saturday.

7.Youth Specialist Flexible. We have 3 youth flexi, and their duties are similar to what youth specialist regular does. The difference is that their work hours are more flexible than the regular staff, means they must be available when shelter needs extra full time staff. The work hours (10am-10pm; 11am-11pm; *12 hours shift...)

8. PRN Relief WORker. This is a part-time position, my original position. I believed I had explained what the relief worker meant in the previous blog. We work on the weekend Sat and Sun (8-1pm) for sure. However, we may work in other times if full-time staff can't make their shifts because of vacation, medical leave, and other issues.

9. Intern/volunteer. Normally ISU students.

Wohoo...I hope the explanation is clear enough... :)

My grad school essays are not yet finished, and I need to submit the application soon. Well, the dateline is Oct 15, but I want to submit the entire application in September. One of my friends asked me if I would like to apply for culinary schools in New York. I happened to think to apply for culinary school since I like to cook. To be honest, my position now is quite satisfying because I can cook, interact w/ kids, so I get all at the same time. However, I know that I can't hold this position because the real kitchen manager will come back at the end of September. I, indeed, expect that my coordinator will extend my position up until October, but it is likely not going to happen, right??

All right, that's all for today...

Thanks...

Ethic, Philosophy, and Faith

2007-08-12T01:56:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how I will describe my feeling, but I feel not right, guilty, shame, and sad at the same time when I see my friends drink alcoholic beverages in events like a house party or even during weekdays.

Why?
Their drinking habit is not acceptable and probably abusive. It is okay to drink beers or liquors occasionally, but I don't think it is all right to drink alcoholic beverages in "huge" amount almost every night.

I've just come back from a house party that one of my best friends hosted it. I decided to leave early, and I told them that I felt not safe. Some of them understood my decision while some were not. There was a music in addition to beverages, and I worried that polices would search the apartment due to music volume. I am also afraid that every one in that place will get a trouble, and I'll feel guilty if my coordinator knows I have a criminal record due to this event. As you know, I work in shelter, and my major duty is to educate trouble youths of how to make a good choice, control our emotion, and to live in a better life.
Therefore, I have to hold those lessons into my everyday lives. I can't just tell them, but I don't practice those life values in my own life.

I, then, have another dillema. I want to stay w/ my best friends because that's the time I can hang out w/ them and also to avoid a "nerd" image that probably attach to me. However, I feel not right and guilty when I stay there. I fight so hard to stay longer in that place, but I don't think I can do it. I understand if they call me a lame girl because I don't either dance or drink, but I won't feel guilty at least.
I feel sad because I can't tell them that they shouldn't drink such like that. I had tried to tell them to reduce their drinking habit several times, but it didn't work.

I also observed people characteristics while I was there. It was interesting to watch their characteristics. Sometimes I think my friend drinks alcohols a lot because he/she can't handle his/her life stress such as, job hunting, work issues, family matter, and loneliness. Others drink alcohols and liquors because they want to taste and leave a "cool" impression. Some of them drink because they want to expand their knowledge in beverages.

In addition to that, I observed several guys at that place and made a case based on my observation. How if one day I have a boyfriend who has binge drinking? How should I tell him to stop? I also searched for acceptable/ reasonable characteristics from all guys who drank and dance in that place because I can't expect to have a boyfriend or future husband that doesn't drink at all or hasn't been to the pub before.
I know it's funny, but I find one characteristic that I believe each person should have, and it is an ability to control yourself (knowing your limit). You can drink and go to the bar/pub, but you must know when you must stop to drink and how you should act in that kinds of places.

I really wish my friends read this particular blog especially for those who drink alcoholic beverages frequently. I am hoping that they will understand and inspect their attitude once they read this blog.

Last but not least, it is okay if you disagree w/ what I write here because every one has different perception. What I am trying to say in this blog is that we need to be able to say "no" to our friends, even to our best friends if we truly know that we are right. DOn't drink, if you know that you don't like beers/ hard liquors or you think that those particular beverages are too strong for you. As my friend said, "You are responsible for your own life."

What a lovely day..

2007-08-11T12:38:00.000-04:00

Woohoo...
I found another PRN who wanted to cover my shift on Saturday. Thus, I woke up at 7 AM this morning, talked on the phone w/ my sister, and slept again until 10:45 AM. Hahahaha....I know that it isn't right to wake at 10:45 AM, and I will try to not do it again in the future..

My birthday is coming soon. Yup, this upcoming Monday. I'll be 22 years old, and I'll celebrate my birthday w/o my family. Last year, I insisted that I wanted to go back to the States on Aug 13, even though I knew that I could postpone my departure. I still remember how my Dad wished that I could celebrate my birthday at home, but I said that I needed to go back soon because I had a mentor training. My friends who picked up me at airport brought me to a restaurant and just before we finished our meals, the servers brought a strawberry cheesecake for me. I was surprised at that time because I thought it was just normal dinner, but they actually planned it for me. Special thanks to E, S, R, and L! :)

This year, I'll have a b'day dinner w/ my friends who always make me laugh. :)
I'm thankful for their presence and support.

I guess, that's all for today.

Thanks for stopping by, and I wish you have a pleasant day!

Ggrr...

2007-08-09T21:21:00.001-04:00

My clients who are about 10-12 yrs younger than me really drive me crazy!
None of them followed my direction,and some of them gave me disgruntled face.

Then,
I went home, planned to have a delicious meal. However, I ended up w/ half-burned vegetables and a medium rare chicken. I normally a good cook, but tonight I am the worst cook ever...

New Apartment-New Role and Responsibilities

2007-08-07T18:36:00.000-04:00

Hey!

I'd already moved to a new apartment yesterday. My friends moved 3/4 of my stuff first because I was at work when my house mate picked up the keys. Special thanks to Y, E, and my house mate who helped me during the moving process.

I was exhausted and had to wake up at 5:30 AM this morning. FYI, I had two days training with the kitchen manager, and it started at 7 AM. She will be on medical leave starting this Friday, and I'll fill her position until she comes back to shelter. Most of my "new" duties will be preparing 3 meals, taking care of schools, ordering food items, and supervising clients. I will work 7-3 pm (M-F) till the end of September. I am praying that my stubborness won't show up for the next 10 weeks.... We will see how it goes...

The good thing from this new role is that I can interact w/ all clients consistently since I meet them every day. I haven't told them yet about this news, but they will know soon or later..

What else??
*** I haven't yet found another person to cover my Saturday's morning shift... I don't mind to work, but I hope that I can wake up a little bit late this Saturday.. One day please...

**I am craving for mooncakes.. Hik..

Hmmph, that's all I have for today..

Thanks for reading my blog...

It has been a while...

2007-07-31T22:22:00.000-04:00

I am sick, but I think my illness will benefit me because I can get rid from .... temporarily.
I am still staying in my friend's apartment, and I am hoping to move to a new apartment soon..

Kids at my workplace drove me crazy today. One of them argued w/ me just because I didn't allow her to sit next to boys in the living room. Another one was acting out, he demanded a lot of things. Hey, I am not your nanny!!!!
One girl also came and told me all the dramas that have been going on in shelter during past three days. * Sigh....

I am glad that I am off tomorrow so I'll take advantages my free time to refresh my mind. They really drive me nut!!!

Despite all the troubles they created, I got new experience from them. For instance, I personally don't like to hike or walk in the middle of bushes and trees. Today, I have to do that thing because I can't let my clients walk by themselves. I thanked them for their patience. I told them honestly that I didn't use to do this activity.
Moreover, another girl taught me how to play a card game called "speed." (I believe this is the exact name they refer to.. I'll double check..)

I know that these kids won't put my name as one of their favorite staff, and I don't expect it either. However, I learn and try to be the best relief worker they ever met. I am hoping that one day shelter will always remember my contribution to shelter and YSS. :)

Well..
I am better off now..
Thanks for reading it!

Hate....Hate Moving... Hate...Hate....

2007-07-20T19:31:00.000-04:00

I had moved all my stuff to my friend's apartment and had a carpet cleaning this morning. I was surprised that the carpet in the bedroom area was still wet, even though the AC has been turned on for five and half hours. As I said on my previous blog, my apartment is quite old, so each apartment only has one AC which located on the living room. I guess this is the reason some areas are still wet..

I finally left the window slightly open to help the dry process. I'll come back tomorrow after I get off from work. *Sigh...

@_@

89 F

2007-07-18T17:46:00.000-04:00

Ooh...
I try to not use AC frequently as a way to cut my electricity cost, but it doesn't work. Today's weather is so hot and dry. I had opened my two huge windows, but I still sweated..

I almost finish cleaning my apartment and ready to move. It took a while to clean the kitchen appliance because the previous resident didn't clean it for me. FYI, I subleased this apartment from someone else, and the only thing that he took care before he left was the refrigerator. I had to take out nails from the wall, clean the stained area above the stove... (I don't know the exact name of this one...), and etc.

What else??
I threw another pile of paper from my previous HRI classes since I wouldn't go back to hotel school anymore. :P

I did my laundry this morning because I probably won't be able to do it in my friend's apartment.. She indeed has a washer/dryer in her apartment, but I am afraid that it will add her utility cost..

Hmmph...
that's for today!

p.s. I bet you have been listened to Fergie's new song, "Big Girls don't Cry." I like this song... I want to play a swing every time I listen to this song..

Turtles...

2007-07-17T18:00:00.000-04:00

My friend told me that her baby turtles had been delivered to her apartment this morning. She bought termometer to ensure that the water is on the right temperature and a halogen lamp to create a "sunlight" for turtles. She even collected rocks from outside to make a small island..hehehe...

Anyway, she is happy, and she is currently staring at her baby turtles..

Stay late at shelter..

2007-07-13T11:06:00.000-04:00

Again, I was informed that shelter needed a PRN to cover someone else's shift. I asked my prog coordinator if I could leave at 9 PM instead of 11 PM so that I could catch the bus. She agreed with me, but she asked my day manager to check if I could stay late until 11 PM which was the normal schedule. She also said that other full-times probably could give me ride to home. We had one regular youth specialist and one youth flex in addition to myself. I knew at that time that they would need me to stay until 11 PM, so I told them that I would ask my friend if she could pick up me at shelter.

Thanks to my friend who wanted to pick up me at 11 PM last night.
However, I felt bad when I knew that my friend had been waiting for me for half hours at parking ramp by herself. She apparently went to WalMart to buy some stuff, and instead of going back to her apartment, she decided to go directly to shelter. Her boyfriend wasn't in Ames and the girl that normally hanged out w/ her didn't show up last night, while another boy who went to WalMart w/ her decided to go home early. :(

I promise that I won't let this thing happens again...

Black Forest Cake....

2007-07-12T11:44:00.000-04:00

I made a black forest cake yesterday morning. The cake tasted a little bit bitter due to I read the recipe incorrectly. :P Fortunately, it tastes better when I put cherry filling between the layers and on the top of the cake. I recommended my friends to eat it with vanilla ice cream.

I also noticed that the cake was not moist,but this one was not my fault. I will try another recipe to check if I can get a better one. :)

So, that was my morning activity, then I went to change my address at post office and banks. I don't mind to move from one place to another, but I don't like to change my address frequently. I am afraid that I will lose my important mails such as, bank statements, letters from my workplace, and etc when I change my mailing address. Since I'll not stay in my new apartment until Aug 6, I worry if the current resident who still stay in that new apartment will return the mails to post office or throw my mail or open my mails.

The bottomline is that I worry almost about everything, and I will keep thinking about it until I am convinced that everything goes smooth.. sigh... I wish I could get rid of this particular habit.

Next....
I hanged out at my friend's apartment, and we browsed some websites to look for puppies. I also accidentally met my college friend who used to live accross my dorm's room back in my freshman years. She was in the middle of conversation w/ her friend, while I was studying her back posture from the window. I wasn't sure if it was her, so I called her name, and yay! I was right!
We chatted for about 5 mins because her fiance waited for her in his truck. I was excited when she told me that she would get married on July 28, 2008. :) Right now, she is living in Madrid, IA, but she is working in Ankeny. I believe she is an editor.. (FYI, she used to work in ISU writing center.. hehehe...)

Last but not least,
We had a dinner at local chinese restaurant and visited my friend's place after that. The boy was still hungry, even though he'd already eaten a full plate of ginger chicken. Luckily, the owner of this apartment recently cooked meatballs soup, so he asked if he could have some... hohohohoho.... I think he is in the growing process.. hehehe...

We then headed home...
:)

My First Visit at Univ Child Care Vet Med.

2007-07-09T15:23:00.001-04:00

I had an interview at Univ Child Care Vet Med this morning, and that was the first time I went to this facility.

I was greeted by Amy (one of the interviewers), while Molly was busy looking for forms that I would need to fill out. She passed three forms and asked me to complete all of them before she and Amy conducted the interview. I assumed both of them were either a supervisor or program coordinator in this child care.

I applied for a teacher position at Univ Child Care Vet Med, and I actually was a little bit surprised when Molly said that I would work with toddlers. She said that there would be 4 teachers (3 full-time and 1 part-time) for toddler class. I forgot the number of students in each class, but it would be around 15-20 toddlers.

Some of the questions were tricky, and I did my best to answer those questions. I understand that I have limited experience in teaching toddlers because most of my experience is dealing with adolescents and high school students. However, I stated to them the reasons I applied for this position so that they wouldn't get confused with my previous background.

Switching career field from Hotel Restaurant Management to Child Family Services was challenging and somehow difficult to explain. I asked her if she had any concerns regarding my qualifications, but she said nothing. Indeed,I found out that I was the first applicant that went to the interview. She said that she would interview more applicants during this week, so I could expect the result by next week.
I went to short interview with the Bright Horizon's recruitment coordinator on Friday, before I met Molly and Amy this morning.

I asked Molly if I could take a look the classrooms, and she gave me a short tour before I left the facility. I guess I fall in love with this place, and at the same time, I am afraid that I'll be upset if they don't select me for the teacher position. I wonder what Molly and AMy think about me, but I cannot get the answers from them. I guess I'll have to wait until next week to find out the result.

I'll have one more interview at another child care facility tomorrow afternoon. This child care is located on Univ. Village. I have been there once, and it won't be difficult to find the place. I hope that I'll have a fabulous time at Univ Village's child care tomorrow afternoon.

thanks.

-W-

I *************

2007-07-03T13:05:00.000-04:00

Have I told you what PRN means? I believe it is a Latin word, but "PRN" means "as needed." Thus, I am obliged to work when:
1. the shelter needs additional staff
2. Full-time staff cannot make their shifts due to illness, vacation, and etc.

Saturday and Sunday (8-1pm) are the days when I have to work (for sure), but I normally work in the afternoon on Sunday around 1 pm.

My night manager called me this morning to ask if I could work from 1-6 PM for her.
She was supposed to cover someone else's shift, but she decided that she didn't want to do it because she had to work again tonight. Sometimes,I don't understand with them, but it happens at shelter.

4th of July
I wish I could watch the parade this morning, but I ended up staying with my kids at shelter. Some of them either did not want or were not allowed to participate in the parade. Thus, these kids were sent back to shelter after had a pancake breakfast. One intern came VERY early because he didn't have anything to do at home, so he decided to come 5 hrs early from his regular schedule. Isn't he amazing?

Three older boys chatted with the intern, while I made an ornament with two younger boys. (I don't know what the name of this ornament.. I'll check it on Saturday and let you know the exact name of this thing..)The older boys talked about movies such as, Saw 3, Hostel 2, Transformer, and Spiderman 3, and other funny stuff.

Lunch time+ free time
Girls had pizzas for their lunch, while boys did bbq with staff at porch. I was glad that they did not make any trouble during this period of time. Some kids showed their talents (dancing, singing, and acting) to us, and I was hoping that I could take their pictures. I suddenly forgot all the bad things they did when I was watching their short performance. I believe that these kids and youths are not that bad. It is the environment that makes them break the rules, and I am sure some staff agree with me. :)

Anyway, I made my day at shelter. Thanks God!

Happy 4th of July!

Pineapple Bread Pudding+ Green Mung Bean Soup

2007-07-01T19:27:00.000-04:00

My weekend went pretty well. I made two desserts, finally found an apartment, and watched Ghost Rider. Still, I feel something is missing or not right, but I don't know which parts that need to be fixed or reevaluated.

I feel hopeless and hate myself...really.

Blue

2007-06-30T13:08:00.000-04:00

What did I do on Friday?

I had my haircut, but my friends claimed that my hair looked same..One of them even said that I only wasted my money.
I went to shelter after that because one staff was sick, and I came to cover her shift.
As usual, some of them made me upset, but it was fine after all. I wondered if they noticed that I almost cried when I talked to them while we watched a movie in the rec room. I addressed one issue and wanted them to understand my position or at least appreciate my presence.

My friends then picked up me at shelter, and we headed home to watch a movie. I looked forward to watching this movie, and I would like to thank to S who brought the movie for us. I love this movie! It is a cartoon/animated movie..

Next, I went home, took a shower, and tried to sleep. I have a sleeping issue lately. The worst thing is that I keep blaming myself for things that happen to me. It is funny when I can motivate my friends and tell them how special they are, but I can't apply those things to myself. For instance, I met my friend accidentally at school about two days ago, and he said that some of his friends might not like him because they thought that he was over confident in expressing his ideas. I convinced him that he should proud of this particular characteristic because his confidence makes him special.
He was surprised when I said that, and he said this was the first time he heard someone praised his personality.

I wish I could motivate myself as I motivate someone else. All I see from myself is that I am the worst person with worst attitudes in the world.

I am emotionally exhausted with all the things that happen to me this year. I hope that I can survive and maintain my positive mind.

-------------------

2007-06-28T14:47:00.000-04:00

This week I feel:

Hopeless
Clueless
Tired
Sad
Confused
Angry
Lonely
Dissapointed
Lost
humiliated
Jealous

Apartment Hunting..

2007-06-25T15:27:00.000-04:00

It's almost July, and I haven't found an apartment yet. It will be easy for me if I want to stay in Ames until July 2008, but I plan to leave Ames on January 2008. About three months ago, I thought I would move from Ames by the end of July, so I only looked for a summer sublease which run from May to July.

However, my plan changed as I got a part-time job at shelter last month. I thank for their kindness to me because they still want to hire me even though I don't have a car and haven't taken my driver license yet. FYI, most of the human services agencies require its staff to have at least a valid driver license, and some of them demand a personal car from its staff.
The reason is because staff will take kids to park, pool, and community center for activities. Sometimes, staff also take kids to hospital in case of emergency. For case worker or social worker position, you will drive from one place to another to visit your clients.

I told my program coordinator about my situation, and I was surprised that she only said, "That's fine. You just can't drive our van." I actually expected her to withdraw my job offer at that time, so I could leave Ames by the end of July.

Now, I am planning to leave the United States by the end of Dec or the latest will be on Jan 2008. I don't know if things come up, and I have to change my plan again. We'll see how this plan goes..

Anyway, I'll visit two apartments tomorrow, and one on Wednesday...

"The Book of Useless Information"-part II

2007-06-24T09:03:00.000-04:00

Section "Literary World"
-In the beginning-

People didn't always say "hello" when they answered phone. When the first regular phone service was established in 1878, people said "ahoy."

The phrase "the boogeyman will get you" refers to the Boogey people who still inhabit an area of Indonesia. These people still act as pirates and attack passing ships.

The magic word abracadabra was originally intended for the specific purpose of curing hay fever.

"Happy as a clam" is from the expression "happy as a clam at high tide." Clams are only harvested when the tide is out.

Stupid Friday Morning

2007-06-22T12:25:00.000-04:00

I used to live in the dormitory where I could do my laundry without having to keep coins ($.25) to operate the machine. My dorm has total 12 washers/dryers for both Oak and Elm buildings. Each building has 6 washers and 6 dryers. I only need my ISU card and plenty amount of money on my CyCash account to run the machines.

Now, I live temporarily in small old apartment that only has two washers and two dryers for the entire building. I have to insert coins to operate them, but that's fine with me. The problem comes when I really want to wash my clothes, but I don't have enough coins.

My morning hassle began when I saw small piles of dirty clothes that annoyed me last night, but I had to wait until morning to change my paper moneys with coins.
Thus, I woke up around 7 AM, and the closest store I could go this morning was the store next to CHC. The cashier only had 4 quarters, so I decided to take them. I then walked to the C-store at UDCC, and the cashier luckily had plenty of quarters.. I was happy and excited to wash my clothes.

I thought that my problem has been solved before I learned that the dryer I used didn't work. My clothes were still half wet, and I didn't have enough coins again. I only had 75 cents at that time. Thus, I walked outside to change money and run the dryer again.
About an hour from that, I went downstairs to pick up my laundry. Guess? My clothes are still half wet. I guess the dryer hates me as I hate this machine,too.

Now, I hang all my clothes in my apartment and turn on fan to speed the dry process.
I am happy that I don't have to live in this old building again, even though I haven't found an apartment yet..
Sigh..

Anyway, HappY Friday!

"The Book of Useless Information"- Part I

2007-06-20T19:28:00.000-04:00

Hey!

I got this book as part of the Borders' special offers (3 for 2), and I thought this book would entertain me considering its title "...useless information."

The mascot of this book is a squirrel, and following is some useless facts about this particular animal.
"It is estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels."
"Squirrels can climb trees faster than they can run on the ground."
"Squirrels may live fifteen or twenty years in captivity, but their life span in the wild is only about one year. They fall prey to disease, malnutrition, predators, cars, and humans."
"A squirrel cannot contract or carry the rabies virus."

Chapter 4 "On the menu"
"Tutti Fruity" section
--> Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient for waking you up in the morning
--> Approx. 17 thousand bananas are eaten each week in the Boston Univ.dining room.
--> In Ivrea, Italy, thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent by throwing oranges at one another.

"Java Time" section
--> A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.

"The Sweet Spot" section
--> M&Ms stand for the last names of Forest Mars Sr., the sweet maker, and his associate, Bruce Murrie. The candy was developed so soldiers could eat sweets w/o getting their fingers sticky.
--> Pound cake is so called because the original recipe required one pound of butter
--> Ice cream was originally made w/o sugar&eggs. Seaweed is one of the ingredients in some ice cream.
--> Eating chocolate was once considered a temptation of the devil.

"No wonder we're fat"
--> A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds.
--> More popcorn is sold in Dallas than anywhere else in the United States

What do you think? I think these facts are interesting.

Hope you enjoy it!

Things that I did when I couldn't sleep

2007-06-18T23:30:00.000-04:00

Hello again!

I decided to find any information about coffee since my blog's title is "Coffee Lover."

According to the article that I found from Coffee universe.com, "Coffee is a seed of a berry. A common myth alleges that coffee was originally discovered by a goat herder named Kaldi. After watching his heard of goats become frisky after eating berries from this unknown bush, he ate them himself, and found these berries gave him a renewed vigor."

Three major coffee growing regions are:
1. Africa+ Arabian peninsula
Coffees from this growing region are the most distinctive in the world, characterized by dry, winy acidity, chocolate and fruit undertones, rustic flavors and intense aromas. Ethiopia is the native land of coffee, and it was in Yemen that coffee was first cultivated and prepared.

2. Central + South American
Their light body, simplicity and sharp acidity distinguish the coffees produced in this growing region. They are typically thought of as having bright flavors with a clean, crisp finish.

3. Indonesia + New Guinea
Indonesia is the world's third largest producer of coffee. However, only 10% of the crop is Arabica, and the number of quality beans available for the specialty coffee industry is limited. Even though they are a small percentage of total production, arabica coffees from this region are considered some of the best in the world, and are prized for their richness, full body, long finish, earthiness and gentle acidity.

General flavor characteristics of coffee:
*Richness-refers to body and fullness
*Complexity- the perception of multiple flavors
*Balance- the satisfying presence of all the basic taste characteristics where no one over-powers another

Source:http://coffeeuniverse.com/world/regions

OST. Tokyo Drift -Teriyaki Boy

2007-06-18T17:53:00.000-04:00

I watched this movie about two weeks ago at shelter, and I liked both the movie and its soundtrack (Teriyaki Boy).
The rhythm of this song reminds me of gamelan...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p07GQhBdIPQ&mode=related&search=

Happy Father's Day!

2007-06-17T12:40:00.000-04:00

The wireless Internet connection in my apartment didn't work well since last Saturday night.
Therefore, I go to UDCC lounge again to get the iastate wireless access. *Sigh..

Nothing special happened to me this morning. I went to church at 8:30 AM and slept again for about 1.5 hrs. Hmmph... I realized that I spent my weekends for sleeping.. Hehehe...

I don't have any interesting topics that I can share with you at this moment. My brain is a little bit slowly this morning. However, I notice that taxi driver will celebrate his birthday this upcoming Wednesday.

All right...
Bye!

Super Chores---

2007-06-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

I slept about 4.5 hrs last night and woke up at 6 since I had to work at 8 AM this morning.
Kids wanted to make omelets, and it didn't turn good because no one could make a perfect omelet. The kitchen was messy, and kids who were supposed to clean this area refused to do it.
I was supposed to supervise kids who worked in the kitchen and main floor bathroom areas, but Kit (my night manager) moved me to rec room. The girl who cleaned the main floor bathroom kept calling me, while another kid asked if they could start to clean the rec room.
Thus, I ran back and forth between downstairs and upstairs to supervise their works and to make sure that the morning shower went smooth. I nodded when Kit said that I looked exhausted as I entered the office.

I can't believe that I'll have to come back to shelter tomorrow night. *Sigh...
I think I'll go to church tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM instead of this afternoon.

p.s. I wonder what my friends do in Chicago at this time. They are probably in the middle of city tour or shopping. Uhuhuhuhuhu.... I wish I could go with them. I really want to visit the aquarium.. Does anyone want to go that place with me someday?
*Sigh... That's ok! I'll meet them again on Monday anyway...

"Importance of Workplace Values"

2007-06-15T18:41:00.000-04:00

Ranking on a scale of 1-100, of importance to employee:

1. Respect (being appreciated and valued in the workplace)
2. Achievement (the sense of purpose and meaning from your work)
3. Balance (the opportunity to balance work time with family needs)
4. Job security (confidence that jobs will be there every day and not be phased out)
5. Money (being paid competitively compared to others w/ similar jobs)
6. Employer leadership
7. Benefits
8. Time
9. Professional development (opportunities for professional growth and learning)
10. Personal safety

Source: Iowa Employment Values Study.
This information is published on The Des Moines Register (June 15, 2007)

Mencari bintang...

2007-06-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

Ini blog bagaimana si??
Ko alamat e-mailku bisa terlihat? ih..bingung...

Today's activities:
-->Tadi sore bikin banana bread di tmpt Elaine, cuma ada beberapa pisang yg blm hancur...hahaha....
Kurang puas si dng hasilnya. Mungkin perlu coba resep yg lain.
-->Hbs gt nonton the Starter Wife. Pemeran utamanya cantik. ^_^
-->Dinner di May House
-->berusaha mencari good spot utk lihat bintang di Ames, tapi Elaine lupa jalan ke sana. Yg ada lihat kunang2 dan perumahan dng pemilik yg amat sangat hemat listrik.

-->Dan sekarang menulis blog yg tak jelas sembari menunggu acara ultah tmn..

Hik..
Besok semuanya ke Chicago dan I'll be alone for three days. T_T
Lunglai

Dah ah..

da da

halo!

2007-06-14T20:46:00.000-04:00

hohohoahahahahihihihihehehehehuhuhuhuhu